My monthly thing....

It has become kind of a monthly thing of mine that I go on a 2-3 day binge. Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a binge, but its 2-3 days of not eating in my 1400-1600 cal range. I get fed up with CONSTANTLY thinking about "can I eat that.. how many calories does that have... how many calories have i eaten today..." etc I guess 2-3 days of eating 2500ish calories is waaay better than doing it daily.... Agh... I wish I could get over my food thing. I haven't figured it all out yet, but I just can't discipline myself completely. Instead of exercising regularly and eating right (I do this MOST of the time) I screw myself with yummies and lazies. I wish once and for all I could just do it. Do it ALL THE WAY, not half assed. But at the same time, half assed is something I've been able to stick to and it has lost me 79lbs so far. I just know that if I really comitted to doing it, I could FINALLY have what I've wanted my ENTIRE LIFE (yes, I've been fat ever since I was like 2) While we're talking about what I wish, I wish that my parents would have done something. You know, I wore a size 24 in 6th grade!! I mean really.... why couldn't they have at least pointed me into some kind of right direction instead of choosing to do nothing? Made me eat veggies, not let me drink 2 sodas with ONE MEAL, not had the yummies in the house, taught me how to deal with my emotions instead of drowning them in the yummies, etc *shrug*   Anyway, so that's why I haven't written anything in the past days, I guess I was ashamed. Although I did two workouts in my 3 days of "normalcy" So there is a plus side at least  Today's calories : 1102 so far and I haven't decided if I'm having a before bed snack. I'm planning to have no more than 1400 for today