My Miracle this weekend
On Friday I was at a church dinner with my boyfriend and the minister came and talked to me about my situation I am in with my youngest son (26) and his wife. Last summer I developed a hernia on my scar from having my left kidney removed 3 years ago. I had to wait to have it removed until this year as I was babysitting my beautiful grandbabies 15 days out of the month and they had no days off anymore. By the time I had my surgery the hernia had grown to about the size of a nerf football. I picked the date they asked me to have the surgery and after I saw the surgeon I let them know that I would be out for 6 weeks, I planned to quit at this time as I was very tired of being abused by them and unappreciated. Plus my health was deteriorating. I never had the chance to tell them as they just assumed it. The last day I babysat my son brought me home and barely talked on the 45 minute drive. Once I got all my things out of the vehicle he said some very cruel things to me, the final one was have fun seeing your grandkids, I told him he can not keep them away from and his next response was the knife to my heart, he said "well I have no reason to come this way anymore. I just looked at him and said wow really I mean that little to you, Thanks. He started to back pedal and I just said quit I am done talking to you about this and I turned and walked into my building. I did not and would not allow him to see me cry. Pastor had me crying and very emotional plus I had not seen my babies in over a month. She had some really great ideas for me to use. During the entire time I was there I kept hearing my phone in my pure ringing but knew by the time I go it they would have hung up so I did not answer it. Once I got home he called again and I answered he was so worried about me and all I could think was GOOD it is about time. He only calls when he needs something and of course this time was no different. His father in law was supposed to take the kids that night but something came so they needed me to babysit for half a day. Just what I needed as I missed my babies so much. In my mind this was a miracle. It was difficult on my body but I needed to hold and snuggle and spend time with kidlets and they really needed me also. The 2 boys wanted me to stay forever with them. I told them that I could not do that but they could always tell mommy and daddy they wanted to call me and could anytime plus I told them when I was a little better I am going to have them over for a weekend 1 at a time. They loved that idea. Of course mom and dad do not know about that but will soon. I am just praying they allow it.
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Our relationships cycle through so many seasons and to ever feel as if we are taken for granted is never a good feeling. This is when as women we must speak our truth and let others know what we can and cannot do. Not easy indeed, yet the creating and recreating of healthy boundaries seems to be a core earth lesson for many of us this time around. I know it is one that I am aware of within myself.
May you have many more moments shared with your Littles as I call them and I know they are our most powerful healers.
Heartfelt (((hugs))) of care on all levels, Susie.
XO Joanie
Thank you Joanie. I am so frustrated with Joey as I did not raise him to disrespect anyone. I have always been his only stability in his life, even once he got married. It is more my daughter-in-law that treats me horribly, she will ignore me, speak rudely, is very unappreciative of all I have done for them out of my love for them because they never kept the deal they made to pay me. When I would ask them just to pick me up something at the store it was like pulling teeth and more often then not the answer was no. Yet I am the bad person. Joey knows how sick I am and the pain as when I first got sick he literally had to help me get to the bathroom, get out of bed, get dressed etc. She has no clue and chooses not to see it therefore he does too. In fact last night he called me and wanted to know if I could babysit wednesday and thursday mornings this week, I said no as I have doctor appointments and he knew I was waiting yesterday to find out what my ct scan said. He did have the courtesy to ask what it said and I told him and all he could say was OH! Told him that until I get rid of this pneumonia and figure out what exactly is on my thyroid and what needs to be done with that I will not be able to babysit or bring one of the kids here for a weekend. I also told him that I had been planning on having Joshua over this weekend but my health has to come first and I have to kick this. The virus that has caused my pneumonia is one that came from one of the boys as it is an influenza that normally only kids around age 5 and younger get. He said thats harsh mom to blame the boys and I said I am not blaming them I am just stating the facts from what my blood work showed and I researched it and this is what I found out.
My son and his wife are a trial that I have to work out my boundaries on and stick to them and let them know. He is realizing it but she is so self-centered, self-absorbed and selfish thinking everyone should do her bidding. well this mom is not doing it or taking it anymore.
I will have time with my babies whenever I want once I am healthier again. This he has promised me and I will also help out a day or two here and there but no set schedule anymore. Plus it will be on my terms not hers.
Hugs and Blessings Joanie,
XOXO Susie