My "Love" Story
I met my husband in high school and we dated for seven years before getting married on our anniversary. this was one year ago. on . our one year we had a huge fight and he brought up the word divorce. the bad thing is that i dont remember what the fight was about but i keep going back to those words. now everytime we have a disagreement or a fight i am terrified that he is going to leave me. everyone in my family is divorced and i dont want it to happen to me. we have been through a lot together and he has been there for me when i was going through a lot of personal problems especially mental issues in high school. now he is going through a lot of loss and personal issues but i dont know if he wants me to help him or is just done with trying and i am over thinking it too much.
Replies
If my math is correct, you met and started dating your husband at age 16. He might have been quite a catch, a perfect match for you and an awesome boyfriend at the time. But based on your recent posts, it appears that over the last 8 years, you have grown up and away from him. You seem to be more ambitious, goal-oriented and need more structure than him. That isn't a bad thing, but those are the types of things that can cause struggles in a relationship.
I guess what I am trying to say is that a guy who is great BF material at age 16 may not be great husband material for you at age 24.
You are young, I assume no kids are involved. This is the perfect time to honestly evaluate your relationship. If you met your husband for the first time now, would he fit the bill for potential lifetime partner, or would he be lacking in what you want for a husband? Sometime those high school romances run their course, but the parties are so entrenched in the status quo that it is difficult to recognize that the "relationship" is over. Marriage is not a conscious decision but rather the next step in the process. Marriage is what is expected - seems like the right thing to do - instead of a conscious commitment and acceptance of the other person. Your other post indicates you saw the issues before you got married, but thought it would get better once we say "I do". If you didn't have the history behind you, would you still chose him?
Divorce is not the end of the world. Many times, divorce is the first step in living the rest of your life with the love and happiness you truly want and deserve.
Hugs and prayers to you, you have some big and important decisions to make.