My life the turning point

 I started coming around a little bit, still in and out a lot. I remember  lot of people standing around my bed, hoping I would come out of it, cause everybody thought I was going to die. I was awake a little more each day. I was begging my wife for a drink of water, but she knew I couldn't have anything so my pancrease could heal. As I became a little more aware of what was going on I had to decide. Am I going to live or give up. My wife told me later that she talked a lot about my grandson who wasn't born yet but on the way. She continues to tell me that was the reason that I found the strength to carry on, but deep down I know that she (my wife) is the reason I'm still here. My wife is a nurse in the hospital I was in. I remember waking up one time and my wife and a good friend of hers who also works at the hospital were discussing what doctors I should have. These nurses have got a lot of pull and I had the best doctors available working on me. A lot of this stuff is so embarrasing but if it helps someone it's worth it. I had no control over my bowels and I remember thinking about my wife having to work with these people and the shame she must feel. It was terrible. Shelley told me that I was on the nurses list as an aggresive patient. I woke up one night ( I remember this one ) and decided I wanted to get out of bed and go for a walk. I got up, pulled all the intavinus tubes out of me. I made it down the hall and found a phone I'm not sure where. It was 4:00 AM and I called Shelley asking her to come pick me up cause I wanted to come home. After I hung up, she called the hospital back to tell the nurse on duty that I was missing in action. Somehow I had found my way back to my bed. The nurse came over and found the mess I had made. All the tubes pulled out and me not having a clue of what I had done. The nurse was pissed to say the least, and had to re-insert all my needles and get the medication going again. Well thats about it for tonight. You know I really hope people will read this and feel all the pain and shame that I have gone through. Maybe they will get the message and it will be easier for them to give up the booze, before they go through all this. Just think, the next drink may be the one that invites you here. You won't like it.