My Life Summed up in 2 Short Stories!!
~ PART 1~
For the first 2 years of life I traveled in and out of foster homes. My biological mother tried very hard to keep me but just couldn't due to many issues I assume. I don't know her life story not much of it anyways. Being a retired daycare teacher/supervisor of over 20 years it is said that the first 5 years in a childs life are the most crucial. MINE WAS MESSED UP and my solid foundation for life has been crumbling for years.Finally at age 2 I was permanently placed up for adoption and luckily for me I was adopted quite soon and stayed with this loving family for life!! I was one of the lucky ones, however, it still emotionally has taken it's tole on me in a few different ways. I'll get to that later.
I was medically expensive because as a child I suffered many many open heart surgeries and now I have a pacemaker and a few other health issues to go alongside. I know the medical field VERY WELL as a kid and that also shaped my childhood. I was very fearful of a child due to my own struggle with pain.
I remember @ the age 16 our minister back them coming over to our house and saying you know Michelle it's ok to cry because of your surgery" it's ok to be afraid........and actually back then I wasn't afraid.........until he repeatedly over and over and over again............got me to become scared.........I became petrified *SIGH*. I know he meant well, but boy was I ever frightened after that. To this day that is one of the reasons I do not go to church any more.....(There are other reasons as well) I'll save that for another Journal entry.
My teenage years I had a few relationships all ending. 1st boyfriend cheated on me behind my back for 3 months with a co-worker, 2nd boyfriend/ fiance moved out west .......I moved out west with him 6 months later only to find out he was cheating on me the entire time I wasn't there with him. He used to hit me and slap me around ohh and most importantly.........burn me with cigarettes repeatedly. This is where I started to smarten up.........I packed up my stuff quietly and left his sorry butt without him even realizing what hit him. I moved back home to a safe environment.
So, I moved back home with my parents, landed a good job in my career as a daycare worker, and joined a dating group (not an online one). I spent many nights going out on dates but nothing became of them. I had totally given up and then my cousin pressured me into going camping with her and I didn't want to but that's when I met my last husband..........on that camping trip. It was awesome.....we new many of the same people, he WAS INTELLIGENT AND SMART, had a good paying job...........and it was someone I could bring home to my parents that they would actually be proud of. He wasn't even an abuser......He had a good stable family life.............it seemed like everything for me was changing and things were getting better.
We dated 4 years and were married for 4 years so a total of 8 years together. He designed and built his own house..........I paid the rent and groceries while he saved his money to build his own dream home..........Our dream home and that's when it hit me...................BAM WE WERE THROUGH........no sooner did we get into our home that was still being built when he said we were through..........I WAS USED AGAIN.............this time for financial reasons...........UGHHHHH One would think I would learn.............. LOL. anyways ................if you'd like to continue on with my life experiences................Please stay with me on my next journal entry :-)
ONE LAST THING GET THIS: I thought this time I'd seek out a marriage therapist to see if my hubby and I could salvage anything. Hubby was determined we were through so the therapist THAT I FOUND ALL ON MY OWN....said he wouldn't see either one of us again until we had an answer for him on what we were doing. Got a call within a weeks time from the Therapist asking for my hubby as he had started up therapy sessions for himself.................NICEEEEEEEEEEEE ............ AND MOST FUNNY PART IS IS THAT MY EX MET HIS NEW WIFE AT THE SAME THERAPIST THAT I FOUND FOR MYSELF...........lol
OK Part 2 coming up :-)
For the first 2 years of life I traveled in and out of foster homes. My biological mother tried very hard to keep me but just couldn't due to many issues I assume. I don't know her life story not much of it anyways. Being a retired daycare teacher/supervisor of over 20 years it is said that the first 5 years in a childs life are the most crucial. MINE WAS MESSED UP and my solid foundation for life has been crumbling for years.Finally at age 2 I was permanently placed up for adoption and luckily for me I was adopted quite soon and stayed with this loving family for life!! I was one of the lucky ones, however, it still emotionally has taken it's tole on me in a few different ways. I'll get to that later.
I was medically expensive because as a child I suffered many many open heart surgeries and now I have a pacemaker and a few other health issues to go alongside. I know the medical field VERY WELL as a kid and that also shaped my childhood. I was very fearful of a child due to my own struggle with pain.
I remember @ the age 16 our minister back them coming over to our house and saying you know Michelle it's ok to cry because of your surgery" it's ok to be afraid........and actually back then I wasn't afraid.........until he repeatedly over and over and over again............got me to become scared.........I became petrified *SIGH*. I know he meant well, but boy was I ever frightened after that. To this day that is one of the reasons I do not go to church any more.....(There are other reasons as well) I'll save that for another Journal entry.
My teenage years I had a few relationships all ending. 1st boyfriend cheated on me behind my back for 3 months with a co-worker, 2nd boyfriend/ fiance moved out west .......I moved out west with him 6 months later only to find out he was cheating on me the entire time I wasn't there with him. He used to hit me and slap me around ohh and most importantly.........burn me with cigarettes repeatedly. This is where I started to smarten up.........I packed up my stuff quietly and left his sorry butt without him even realizing what hit him. I moved back home to a safe environment.
So, I moved back home with my parents, landed a good job in my career as a daycare worker, and joined a dating group (not an online one). I spent many nights going out on dates but nothing became of them. I had totally given up and then my cousin pressured me into going camping with her and I didn't want to but that's when I met my last husband..........on that camping trip. It was awesome.....we new many of the same people, he WAS INTELLIGENT AND SMART, had a good paying job...........and it was someone I could bring home to my parents that they would actually be proud of. He wasn't even an abuser......He had a good stable family life.............it seemed like everything for me was changing and things were getting better.
We dated 4 years and were married for 4 years so a total of 8 years together. He designed and built his own house..........I paid the rent and groceries while he saved his money to build his own dream home..........Our dream home and that's when it hit me...................BAM WE WERE THROUGH........no sooner did we get into our home that was still being built when he said we were through..........I WAS USED AGAIN.............this time for financial reasons...........UGHHHHH One would think I would learn.............. LOL. anyways ................if you'd like to continue on with my life experiences................Please stay with me on my next journal entry :-)
ONE LAST THING GET THIS: I thought this time I'd seek out a marriage therapist to see if my hubby and I could salvage anything. Hubby was determined we were through so the therapist THAT I FOUND ALL ON MY OWN....said he wouldn't see either one of us again until we had an answer for him on what we were doing. Got a call within a weeks time from the Therapist asking for my hubby as he had started up therapy sessions for himself.................NICEEEEEEEEEEEE ............ AND MOST FUNNY PART IS IS THAT MY EX MET HIS NEW WIFE AT THE SAME THERAPIST THAT I FOUND FOR MYSELF...........lol
OK Part 2 coming up :-)
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