My Life problem brewing

 I forgot to mention last time, that my daughter was born between getting back from the west and getting my steady job. Anyway a beautiful June morning I was summoned to the office, nothing out of the ordinary. Upon arrival I seen the director of personal frm head office. I guess by this time, I was calculating in my mind what was going on. I was taken into the office and left alone with that director. She told me all the stuff, like it is not your performance, but my job was no longer a job. They bought me out, giving me 2 years wages. I was in shock at this point. So many things running through my mind at this moment it was just unbelievable. THIS POINT I MUST STRESS IF ANYONE OUT THERE ENDS UP IN THIS POSITION, AND YOU ARE OFFERED TO SEE A PSHYCOLOGIST DO NOT TURN IT DOWN. It was offered to me and I didn't take it. If I had I may not be where I am now. Then again with me I might have been worse who knows now. Anyway fro that moment until I left I was treated like a common criminal. I will never ever forget that day. I needed to go o the parking lot to retrieve something from my truck and they escorted me. I guess I understand the treatmet now, I was not allowed back in the plant to say goodbye to anyone, it was just plain over. Life as I knew it for 20 years was over. I remember thinking on the way home "hey this maybe ok. I'm going to get paid for 2 years to drink more beer." I got home talked to my daughter and awaited my wife's arrival from work to give her the news. I can still to this day see the look on her face. She knew right there, I was in trouble. My life has not been the same since, between arguing with my wife to the useless worthless feeling I have carried with me ever since. I became guilt ridden, I just cannot explain the agony I have put myself and my family through. It has been just horrific, through the drinking, the mood swings, the depression I carry with me.