My Life is Being Drained Out of Me
My mom had the last day of her Summer camps today. They did a play and dance and recited some poems. Then I talked with my friends for a while. As soon as they all left, I was drinking lemonade and my dad said to save some for him. After I finished mine, I got a new glass and started to pour some for him. He started yelling at me because he thought I was getting a second glass for myself. The camp and party after already exhausted me and him yelling at me when I was trying to do a good deed hurt. He later, reluctantly apololigzed. Then I went on the computer to check my emails and I got an email from DailyStrength saying I got a ticket for posting the scripts on the Anxiety board instead of my journal. I didn't even mean to do that.
I haven't had any sketch ideas recently so I'm just writing a Doctor Who fan fiction to keep me from breaking down again. I'm just exhausted and want a few hours home alone so I can be myself without my family judging or criticizing or yelling at me.
My friend still hasn't texted back and that's just making me more depressed. I'm trying to be supportive to my other friend who lost her mother but it's just really hard. She seems happy but I don't want to judge a book by its cover.
I'm so drained but life keeps going on. I wish it would freeze for a few days so I could relax and recharge. I have a headache from the party and I feel tense and my acid reflux is still really bad.
My family keeps watching shows and movies but they all have bad words and innapropriate scenes and I really don't like stuff like that. It just makes my intrusive thoughts worse. But my mom gets really mad whenever I turn on Studio C even though they don't swear, don't dress inapropriately, they don't make innapropriate jokes or scenes, and they make me laugh whenever I need it. Whenever I try to talk to her about it, she rolls her eyes and gets mad at me or takes every opportunity to get out of that situation and then chastises my sister and I for doing the same thing thing to her.
Replies
i am incredibly proud of you for surviving all that stretching of you comfort zone, christian. well done, my healing warrior.
yea, the script writing puts the forum sharing into a whole different league. writer's groups are the more beneficial place for those posts.
for what it's worth
my foster kids love marathoning the same programs, over and over and over. i often fight the urge to provide the inappropriate jokes and language on my umpteenth go round of thundermans, sophia the first or whatever. balance in all things? too much sugar rots the teeth.