My Life Has Gone From Bad To Worse
Tuesday, August 05, 2008 – 4:50 P.M. Just when I thought life could not get much worse, it did. The best CNA I have helping me (Rachelle) has just taken a leave of absence because of a medical problem. A bone in her shoulder is dissolving, and there are bone chips “floating around” in her shoulder. Additionally, another CNA who works with her in the mornings is moving to San Diego in September. A third CNA, who helps me at bedtime, may be leaving at the end of the year. After hearing all this during the morning, I swallowed a handful of pills (I was not trying to kill myself) and slept throughout the remainder of the morning, and part of the afternoon. The staffing director (Lydia) called me this afternoon to let me know that she will be working with me four days a week at dinnertime. (She is known as “the hamburger woman,” because whenever she substitutes for Rachelle for my evening meal, she always brings me a cheeseburger and French fries.) Someone else will fill in on the remaining three days. I am extremely upset at this turn of events (even though I had been thinking that Rachelle would have to quit helping me) because Rachelle and I have become friends and I am concerned about her health and well-being. Rachelle called me about an hour ago, and said that Lydia told her that she could start helping me again once she is able to return to work. To be quite honest, I have some serious doubts that Rachelle will ever work again. While trying to process all of this, I cannot help but feel that with up to three people leaving, I am on the verge of being abandoned one more time in my life. My life seems to be going from bad to worse. I cannot help but feel that I have somehow caused this to happen. Quotes for Success: “Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.” Dr. Joyce Brothers
Replies
there you go make lemonade out of lemonde, way to go! big hugs deby
You did not cause this to happen.
And tell Rachelle she has my shoulder sympathy.
Hugs and Mojo...
Weebs
This must be very hard for you, Jim.
You have been stressed out and physically ill lately.
Now you hear this important series of changes that will be coming your way this year. Difficult and upsetting, to say the least.
When you are in a situation where you depend on people to help you take care of you daily, it is so very important that you have compatibility.
Hamburgers will be nice for a while.
That is something good to look forward to.
I do agree with you about Rachelle, dissolving bone sounds rather ominous.
It is hard to hear bad news about a friend.
Let\'s hope that there will be a miraculous recovery for her.
I would be feeling the same way about the upcoming staff changes.
Just maybe the new people will be likable and good workers.
Abandonment does rear it\'s ugly head at times like these.
I am glad you were able to sleep. But, I don\'t like the way you got there.
There is absolutely no way you could have caused this in even the most minute of possibilities.
I am so sorry this is happening to you. It is hard to lose people we care about and who care about us. You did not cause these things to happen, I know how you feel, I often blame myself for things, including the weather, now how can I change the weather? only the weather in my head can I have even the slightest control over.
My sister and I both have at least one thing in common - when something goes wrong, we lay a guilt trip on ourselves. That must be what I am doing in this case.
Change is very hard for me to Jim. I am at a time in my life when the people who were around me all my life are either Dead sick or dying, Things have changed in my friends lives so they aren\'t around much anymore. Change happens to us all, Somehow When you are like the two of us are, It\'s very hard to deal with. You are not alone, Hang in there, HUGS-Stephanie
Oh man. I have serious troubles with goodbyes. Only with those I care about, of course.
I think it\'s perfectly natural for you to feel such sadness. I mean people you care about are leaving. Who wouldn\'t be sad about that?
I\'m sorry, Jim. I\'ll miss them too. I will also hope that you get caring and supportive people to replace them because you deserve it.
Warm vibes coming your way, my friend.