My Life Chapter One

I was born in Detroit Michigan to a mother, father and brother 3 years older than myself.

We lived in severe proverty.

My father who I always felt was an exceptional man was a welder and my mother never worked.

At the time it didn’t matter that we or I were very poor because I was able to use the huge creative nature I was born with. All I needed was a spoon a mound of dirt and I would create magic out of nothing.

Although my basic needs were met, my mother bonded with my brother but in no way bonded with me.

She had an affair with someone much older than herself and one night I heard my father climb the stairs to the flat where we were living and yelled at my mother if she was there when he returned he would throw her out the window. I thought that meant my mother,and my brother and I would literally be “thrown out the window”.

I remember standing there next to my brother my fist in my mouth crying as my father made this proclamation.

She quickly packed a bag and took my brother and I walking down a dark Street.

A strange man pulled up and asked her if she wanted a ride. I was sure we were all going to be murdered. He dropped us off at a Donut store and the very next day we were living in even more severe conditions and was told to call the much older man my mother had an affair with, daddy. I was six.

I did not talk or talked very little only when absolutely necessary until I was at least 7 seven.There was a whole world of complex thinking and creature adventure in my mind However, there was no voice.

I went to school. Played in the back common area and watched people take trash out to the dumpster. If the trash looked like I could eat it, I would reach into the dumpster and eat the tiny remments from a chicken bone or whatever I could find, I was hungry.

I lived in my mind, in my world. Extremely creative. I had a vivid dream that there was a black purse with a big shiny silver coin in it. And although my brother and I where told not to go to the empty building next door. One day walking home from Old Field Elementary School we ventured into the back yard of the big empty building and I found a black purse with a handle on it and a Big shiny coin in a tiny pink pocket in the purse.

My mother was diabetic but for some reason unknown to me could not take responsibility for her disease and died when I was 7. At the funeral I was ordered by my new “daddy” to go up to my mothers casket and kiss her goodby. I was mortified but I did it out of obedience and to this day I cannot tolerate the smell of formorderyde.

My “daddy” moved us into another flat, this time we lived downstairs and his daughter and her invalid, mother lived upstairs. I cannot remember the school I went to....I do remember a few details. .......

Again, I was extremely creative and mostly lived in my mind. I remember learning the value of pennies, nickels and dimes because I loved candy and there was a candy store near by and for a nickel I could choose 5 pieces of candy from big glass jars that sat on a big glass display cabinet.

My mother had just died. I did not know how to express feelings and no one asked.

Within 6 months my stepfather met a woman and now I am living in Roseville, Michigan. In a small house with my new stepmother, stepfather, biological brother and 4 children of my step mother. I still only talked when absolutely necessary. My brother and I were at times told we were not good enough to eat at the table and had to eat standing up in the laundry room.I had another vivid dream that I was given a beautiful blue bike. I was the youngest of 6 children living in a small house. This was the the living situation for around 3 years. I went to greater gratiot elementary school. Although I was an average student in grades it was during this time I was beginning to learn I was extremely gifted  in a way that at the time I did not understand. It was though interactions with my teachers I first started to get a glimpse of myself. One day a man and a woman came to the house and for reasons I didn’t understand took notice of me. The very next day a beautiful blue bicycle arrived. It was from this man and woman. I did not know how to ride a bicycle so first I practiced using my best friend, Jenny’s bike on the grass and within a short time I had taught myself how to ride the blue bike alone without help.

I was desparate to have the influence of how to be a girl, a lady.

Like a sponge I would soak in TV shows like Gillian’s Island,and I dream of Jeannie. Only paying attention to the female actors. I didn’t like the male one’s.

It was during this time my step mother beat me. When no one was home she would lock me in a dark closet and opened it frequently and beat me with various objects such as pots, a metal dog chain and her foot. I was the only one in the house that was beaten as well as on a regular schedule. I was assigned chores. And it was my responsibility to clean the bathroom, and the dishes every night. I did these chores with perfection in mind and everything I did was spotless.

When I was 11 I learned I had a great Aunt Vivian who lived in Ormond Beach, Florida. She sent a letter requesting if my brother and I could visit her over the summer. Finally my biological brother and I were allowed to go.

For the first time in my life. I was given 3 meals a days, my own bed to sleep in and activities to enjoy. Also my great Aunt made sure my biological brother and my eyes were tested as we both needed glasses.

When returning from this visit my eyes were opened. I had to take control.  With firm intention! The very next day I was ordered to make my step father coffee. I purposely put a lot of instant coffee and a lot of sugar in the coffee cup. When he drank this he said, I did that on purpose and I walked up to him and with the force within me commanded that I no longer wanted to live with him.

The next day my brother and I were placed in a orphanage. Every family member wanted my brother but not me. It was my great aunt Vivian that we had just visited who without hesitation said yes to accepting both my brother and me. I was 11 and half.

My great Aunt Vivian and her husband Raymond lived in a beautiful house on Emerald circle. We lived where well to do people retire. Raymond died a year later, and within a few months my Great Aunt was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I watched as it slowly took her life. Right before she passed her son Charlie Moore  and his wife Billie brought Aunt Vivian,my brother and I to Orange Park Florida where they lived. He lived in a big beautiful house in a neighborhood called Holly Creast next to Dr Lake Drive. Although as my brother told me years later they offered to pay for a full college education on his behalf they made it clear In no way was I welcomed.They tried every one they could think of to send me to but no one wanted me.

About this time I started having strong premonitions and dreams about things that would happen. I did not understand at the time about these dreams and premonitions but, I remembered them clearly. When the things I dreamed happened  years later I would ponder why I was seeing what was going to happen before it happened.