my life atm
So here it is april all ready and a day before Easter and is sat . I havent had a sat off in like 6 mo + I now have an AWESOME counselor. she is from counseling and consulting srvs and is completly free through magellen. she comes to my house even and we are working on some of life issues such as past relationship, child hood abuse, flash backs of dreams of being in hosp. loss. didnt realise i had so many but now that i add add them up i see that i do. but we are taking one step at a time even doing excercises from work book together. She had my case manager(i have a new one her name is Danielle and she is great!) meet at my house and they drafted a "support plan" up for me. Its a things to do to stay healthy and what to do when the crisis hits. I didnt relise that arizona has a 1-800 line with trained proffesionals who will help in the event. I feel fortunate to have these two new ppl in my life. I still have dr purwal tho but having magellen AND dr purwal is interesting since now the two pdocs can talk about my case. uh-oh if dr purwal tries to write a perscription and i fill it tho because this is against the rules. only magellen can write perscriptions and get them filled. dr purwal is only for consultation until i get on board with a pdoc who is up to my specifications will i drop dr purwal. soooooooo work is great been raking in the hours as a host now and of course my retail. i work every Sunday so its hard to get to church and i know it is important to have the Lord in my life and to attend services but am i being that bad to not go i mean work is mandatory, right? des is coming back to phoenix to finish her doctatrate degree to do her practicum she says somewhere between july-oct will she back. i cant wait i miss her and love her soooo much. guess i got at least some of my shit together because we are talking again. in fact we have been talking thro e-mail and telephone cals. we are very close in that regard. oh i found out my step mom has liver cancer. she will not do radiation or chemo not a whole lot they can do all i can do is pray that it will go into remission. this is going to be sooo hard on my dad when he looses her. it is now inetible brenda will die first before my dad. and thats a hard pill to swallow. tho i couldnt bear the fact of losing dad first anyway. would be incredibly awkward for brenda and i . reality is i wont have either of them much longer. in other news i have still been flirting on the net trying to only "date" christian men been talking to a guy in flagstaff pretty nice grew up catholic but is now non practicing and marked Christian on his profile so, hmmm does that make him ok to date? Im not sure it kind of goes against my strong Christian morals to not date a non believer but is he really a non believer just because he doesnt attend srvs. to describe him. hes really nice got his masters in interdisciplinary sciences and sells exotic gemstones. well nothing has come out of my"dating" so we'll see about this one. shall we? nothing exciting today to do on my off. dale and i will chat here in a few and i want to go to thrift store because they are having a half -price sale and i need some club clothes. oh! jess (co-worker and i went out the other night tis fun. we are going to a gay club because one of my co workers is on thurs night. might take dance lessons at fred astairs too. so all in all things are good. still waiting for everything to come together. carrer/man. but we shall see, we shall see.