My Life as it Stands

I've been doing my best to stay happy, but my life is not where I want it to be. I am 50. Overweight. Underpaid. Reliant on my longterm boyfriend.

I sometimes feel like I'm a shitty mother to my son. Perhaps too strict. Perhaps not emotionally available. I feel like he doesn't have the proper skills to excel in life. He has mild autism, but the doctors never predicted he'd be reliant on me longer than a 'normal' child.

I'm looking to talk to older people who are in a similar rut. People who can get me through. Preferrably women, but I will talk to the right men.