My life and struggles.
t all started last year, happy life, a brilliant girlfriend and stepchild any man would be proud of, a baby on the way, i was on cloud 9.
We was planning on moving out from her parents house at this point the baby had been born, a heft 9pound 8ounces life was great, we started looking a few weeks after the birth and we had stumbled upon a few, but her parents found out, there was a few days they didn’t speak to us and then we ended up having a discussion, from there we decided to hold off until she had finish her uni course on the condition her parents didn’t interfere or expect us to do everything.
One day her dad went into a mood, things kicked off, things where said, but i felt like everyone was against me, and i felt like my girlfriend didn’t have my back, i decided to get out of there asap, because her parents where to much. i made it clear to her that id never leave her ect and i loved her, i was hoping this would maker her see it was a massive strain on me emotionally, so i came to live back with my parents.
Going a few days forward contact had become limited and lacking, she stopped me calling my daughter every night, i knew what was coming, I’d hardly eat, couldn’t sleep, i was breaking apart, my heart was ripping to bits i ended up having panic attacks and melt downs.
Then boom, like a bomb to my life and heart, she broke up with me, my heart stopped, i went numb and then to extreme devastation in seconds, i fought and fought to get her back but to no successes. That day i sat blasting music into my ears, that night i decided to go for a walk.
My phone dinged in my pocket, i looked and there was a picture of my 2 kids, it hit me like a brick to the heart, id realized what id lost (at this point she wouldn’t reply to texts or even let me see or speak to the kids), i proceed to walk down the dark path and came across and object, to witch i proceeded to cut myself with. However i was fine.
A few days had past i torchered myself by checking her profile a lot and saw pictures ect, but didn’t see much as shed literally written me out of her life, i ended up having a massive panic attack and ended up having a break down.
I was at this state unaware as what would happen, i remember been at a friends house having a few beers and then i went to sleep, the next bit is what police told me.
They told me that they’d got a call about 4 in the morning off me crying and sobbing saying i don’t have anything to live for, my life was ruined can someone help me?
They responded to the call pretty quick but when they got there i was stood on the edge of a dock, 30foot into bricks as the tide was out, the female officer said i kept saying, ”i cant see them, i cant help them, maybe if i was dead id see them, i could guard them, i could make sure they’re happy, my life’s nothing without them, my son wont know i existed my daughter would forget me.” she knew what was going to happen bit it was raining, apparently as i went to grab a different railing my hand slipped.
I fell 30 foot backwards, no sound to be made, they phoned the services ect and told my parents i may have broken my spine, i should of died. after all my scans they noticed a miracle, my spine and neck was fine, id broken and dislocated my elbow and broke my wrist.
I still have bad days i miss them all so much, but i asked for a sign a few days before the fall that I’m meant to be with my kids and i got it.
3 operations and 2 months later Ive been left disabled for life, the mistake i did has a repercussion they’ll carry on for life. but i’m lucky, and so are you, we’re all lucky to be here and we need to make our life better.
life deals us shit, it will kick us to peaces but i will show them kids how much i love them, ill fight until my last breath i will make there mother see why I’m alive today, I’m lucky, I’m blessed!
We was planning on moving out from her parents house at this point the baby had been born, a heft 9pound 8ounces life was great, we started looking a few weeks after the birth and we had stumbled upon a few, but her parents found out, there was a few days they didn’t speak to us and then we ended up having a discussion, from there we decided to hold off until she had finish her uni course on the condition her parents didn’t interfere or expect us to do everything.
One day her dad went into a mood, things kicked off, things where said, but i felt like everyone was against me, and i felt like my girlfriend didn’t have my back, i decided to get out of there asap, because her parents where to much. i made it clear to her that id never leave her ect and i loved her, i was hoping this would maker her see it was a massive strain on me emotionally, so i came to live back with my parents.
Going a few days forward contact had become limited and lacking, she stopped me calling my daughter every night, i knew what was coming, I’d hardly eat, couldn’t sleep, i was breaking apart, my heart was ripping to bits i ended up having panic attacks and melt downs.
Then boom, like a bomb to my life and heart, she broke up with me, my heart stopped, i went numb and then to extreme devastation in seconds, i fought and fought to get her back but to no successes. That day i sat blasting music into my ears, that night i decided to go for a walk.
My phone dinged in my pocket, i looked and there was a picture of my 2 kids, it hit me like a brick to the heart, id realized what id lost (at this point she wouldn’t reply to texts or even let me see or speak to the kids), i proceed to walk down the dark path and came across and object, to witch i proceeded to cut myself with. However i was fine.
A few days had past i torchered myself by checking her profile a lot and saw pictures ect, but didn’t see much as shed literally written me out of her life, i ended up having a massive panic attack and ended up having a break down.
I was at this state unaware as what would happen, i remember been at a friends house having a few beers and then i went to sleep, the next bit is what police told me.
They told me that they’d got a call about 4 in the morning off me crying and sobbing saying i don’t have anything to live for, my life was ruined can someone help me?
They responded to the call pretty quick but when they got there i was stood on the edge of a dock, 30foot into bricks as the tide was out, the female officer said i kept saying, ”i cant see them, i cant help them, maybe if i was dead id see them, i could guard them, i could make sure they’re happy, my life’s nothing without them, my son wont know i existed my daughter would forget me.” she knew what was going to happen bit it was raining, apparently as i went to grab a different railing my hand slipped.
I fell 30 foot backwards, no sound to be made, they phoned the services ect and told my parents i may have broken my spine, i should of died. after all my scans they noticed a miracle, my spine and neck was fine, id broken and dislocated my elbow and broke my wrist.
I still have bad days i miss them all so much, but i asked for a sign a few days before the fall that I’m meant to be with my kids and i got it.
3 operations and 2 months later Ive been left disabled for life, the mistake i did has a repercussion they’ll carry on for life. but i’m lucky, and so are you, we’re all lucky to be here and we need to make our life better.
life deals us shit, it will kick us to peaces but i will show them kids how much i love them, ill fight until my last breath i will make there mother see why I’m alive today, I’m lucky, I’m blessed!
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