My Least Favorite Term and Today's BFN
I want to begin this journal entry by complaining about a term I wish would be stricken from everyone's vocabulary: Advanced Maternal Age. Aaarrrgh. Yes, I know I'm older and I know my biological clock sounds like an epic alarm, but still, I just hate the reality of it!!! Anyway, enough of that.....
So I went for my bloodtest today to find out what I already knew: BFN. Now we go back next week to discuss IVF!!! I'm nervous, excited, worried and mostly, anxious. It's like now that we are really going to commit to this, I'm realizing that I don't think my body is ready! I know that sounds ridiculous, but I feel like my eating habits have been pretty lousy lately and I'm carrying an extra 50 lbs. Between my age and weight and my lazy lifestyle, I'm suddenly worried about "investing" in IVF in this shape! Am I crazy? I probably am but I wouldn't mind some feedback here saying otherwise ;)
So I went for my bloodtest today to find out what I already knew: BFN. Now we go back next week to discuss IVF!!! I'm nervous, excited, worried and mostly, anxious. It's like now that we are really going to commit to this, I'm realizing that I don't think my body is ready! I know that sounds ridiculous, but I feel like my eating habits have been pretty lousy lately and I'm carrying an extra 50 lbs. Between my age and weight and my lazy lifestyle, I'm suddenly worried about "investing" in IVF in this shape! Am I crazy? I probably am but I wouldn't mind some feedback here saying otherwise ;)
Replies
I hope everything works out for you :) I have never done IVF, but think there\'s validation in thinking about being your best woman prior to such an expensive \"investment\". Good luck to you
So sorry about you BFN. I know you didn\'t think it would work but it still sucks. The thing about eating and exercising is you can start anytime to change things around. Yes easier said than done but if you are worried about it try doing little things that will help . As for it\'s impact on IVF, I don\'t know how you clinic works but at mine you have to step on the scale and they calculate your BMI to ok IVF (as if IF doesn\'t suck enough they want to know your weight !!!). This week I decided I wanted to lose weight too.
Can\'t wait to see how you appointment goes.
Hugs
Wish I could tell you that everything was going to be OK.......I just can\'t believe that a few extra pounds are going to be the reason you don\'t get pregnant. I have seen and heard of women that are in their 40\'s and get pregnant no matter what their weight....I\'ve also seen women younger and in perfect shape NOT be able to get pregnant. IF is just a horrible game. Of course it is logical to believe that if you were active, in shape and healthy that your odds were better, but I just don\'t know if I believe that any more. I work with a girl who is 34, a phys ed teacher and swim coach, eats so healthy, never smoked, hardly drinks and she was just told that her eggs are 10 years older then she is and that she needs to freeze them now to have any hope of ever getting pregnant (she is not married right now). What I am trying to say is there is no rhyme or reason. I hate that our age is such a major factor and there is nothing we can do to help that. The best thing you can do is to try your best to relax and think positive thoughts (easier said than done in my opinion). I am here if you need to talk! Wishing you nothing but luck! xoxo
Sorry for the crappy BFN. IVF wasn\'t much harder for me than the medicated IUI but a few more visits---I\'m not a fan of it or the price of it but it means I\'ve tried EVERYTHING that I wanted to try. Again, not for everyone but it doesn\'t hurt to check it out. I hope you don\'t need it and like Deb stated earlier, not sure that \'killing\' yourself for a possibility is best either. The added pressure to yourself is tough sometimes but if you do it for yourself and because you want to go to it!
I am so sorry about your BFN...My Re had me try to lose 30lbs before doing IVF...In 6 months, I had only lost 18 and we went ahead anyway.
Bah hum bug on the BFN. As for the weight, I think that your doc could give you more info. Chances are he will say that he\'d rather start 6 months earlier, than wait for the 50 lbs to magically fall off. BTW, I\'m slightly giggling at this thought as if you\'re anything like me, I too always want to lose weight...but it rarely happens. I could *maybe* lose 5 or 10 lbs within a couple months, but much more is not likely.
How about you? Is losing 50 lbs a stall strategy, or something you think would be quick/easy to do? I totally get the stall tactics. I almost told DH to go home on our way to the ET, I didn\'t think I was really ready to be prego! In the end, it was my nerves...and those passed.
Huge hugs.
Thanks everyone, for your great feedback. I\'ve been wanting to drop this extra stress 50 lbs for a while now, but I think endowife hit the nail on the head with the stall tactics....I think part of it is that I\'m totally freaked about IVF and actually being pregnant even though I want it soooo badly.
I am sorry to hear about the BFN. But IVF is a good next step! All of those feeling are normal, especially the doubt. It is never too late to change to a better lifestyle in terms of food and what not. Whether it be before, during or after IVF, it is never too late. Don\'t let that concern from standing in your way of making this next very huge step. Best of luck and I hope things work out for the best!!
I am sorry about your BFN. I am starting IVF for the first time, too and have all the same mix of emotions you do. My doctor NEVER mentioned that I should lose weight, but I knew I needed to. I finally stopped making excuses 6 months ago and it has really helped me feel more positive that IVF might work...especially because since I have lost weight and have been practicing better habits, my cycles have been a little more predictable than ever before! Good luck to you!
My Dr. didn\'t mention anything about my weight either, and I know I\'m probably carrying 20-30 lbs more than I should. Still, they went ahead with the IVF without saying a word about it. I went for a weigh in today at my OB/GYN appointment, and they didn\'t say anything about my weight either. My BP is completely normal, and I don\'t have any health issues, so I think you\'ll be fine. All of us who have done IVF, or are going into it, know how you feel. It is REALLY scary, because it\'s probably the most intense thing you\'ll do on this process. Seriously, just tackle it one step at a time. It makes it so much more manageable.
I worked out leading up to the IVF, cut way back on pop and alcohol, and tried to eat better and relax more. And it worked for me on the first try. Even now, I\'m eating when I\'m hungry, and I find I don\'t always WANT all the food on my plate. I\'ve also wanted milk and veggies and fruits and eggs and things a lot more, which is probably a lot better than just eating a lot of pizza and junk food. In fact, I\'m actually three pounds LIGHTER today (at 8w4d) than I was before I started this process.
Short version: Do what will make you feel good about yourself. But don\'t be too scared to move forward. Is it overwhelming sometimes? Sure. Is there a kind of \"no turning back\" feeling with IVF? Absolutely. It\'s also this sort of \"Well, if this doesn\'t work, that\'s it\" kind of feeling that can be really scary about going forward with the procedure. But, if it\'s the best chance of working...and if it does work...it\'s awesome.
Best of luck!
Here - here, I hate that term too!!!!
XOX