My lazy day

 I am being lazy today, just not up to it actually. Have been having hard time since yesterday eve. Stephen called around noon yesterday and said they were on there way to St. Lois and was to go to six flags from 3-6pm yesterday, AND I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM HIM SINCE!, WHAT AN INCINCITIVE CHILD I HAVE RAISED, HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME, ok, slow down, for one thing if something happened to him at the park someone would have notified us by now right? Ever since 3 or so(should have called to say they were there by now)yesterday i have been feeling as raw as when they first told us about Suzette, I figure Stephen is what triggered it and while i am so worried about him i am feeling so raw about her? How does that work? All the in-laws were here yesterday afternoon, I  am so angry feeling too and everytime i looked at someone, kids too i just wanted to punch them,  i was able to keep it together til hubby got home and they left then i just lost it and had a constant watered eyes. David kept asking whats wrong, how do you explain to him?, mama just feels sad and misses your sister sometimes, he still asks whats wrong. could not sleep last nite, got about 3 hrs off and on so now i am raw, worried, upset, angry, tired and cranky-should be a good day huh. I hate all this up and down, do ya ever get it figured out or at least learn to read some sign that the down is on the way?  David was up by 11, last nite, couldn't sleep cause fleas, ok i'll give him that, but on every other sleepable surface besides my bed!? I didn't see one flea when laying with him in several places, but what it basically came to is this-my oldest child is gone, my next is 100 and some miles away and i haven't heard from him, then there is David right here so willing to let me hug him enough for alll 3. I probably set back our progress, but i rerally did try to hold out for a while.  To make things worse, my best friend, Julie in Il., I.M.ed me this am things were general for min then told her having bad day she asks why and i tell her about Stephen and that we would have Told by now if something happened, she says"thats true  but not a very good way to put it" I respond "why thats what i think", haven't heard from her since, I.M. still up, no response. Now to be fair she is at work at car dealership and does come and go at times but it seems its always times like this now and doesn't come back. That hurts, i know she doesn't know what to say but....  Any way I am feeling angry and sarcastic today so it's probably best i don't give anyone my 2 cents. Just know I luv ya'll and hope ya'll have a better day