My Latest Update

Well, I made it through Thanksgiving and actually enjoyed the day with family.  My great-niece came home with me and we got the Christmas decorating completed on Black Friday.  Friday was an emotional day for me.  Again, for the third year, the tree is decorated in blue, my husband's favorite color.  And I still cannot listen to Christmas songs, as he is not here to call me throughout the day singing our favorite ones.
Through a lot of pain, drugs and counseling, I have reached a point of comfort in my life.  After 2-1/2 years, I still regard myself as Richard's wife and intend to stay that way.  I have no desire for a companion, boyfriend, or husband.  I have discovered that I am quite fine spending my time with family and friends, and I can fully take care of myself.  Love itself comes in many forms.  My heart bursts with love for my husband.  There is no room for anyone else. 
I sometimes worry about ending up alone and lonely, but after dissecting the worry, I am not alone.  I have God, my husband's spirit, cat, friends, neighbors and family.  As for lonely, lonely is a choice.  You can spend the day with your best friend, which is yourself, or call a buddy to chat or go to an event together.  Nothing is going to "fix" the void my husband left.  I find comfort knowing he is in heaven with God, not suffering, but enjoying the beauty and love of the afterlife.  I also take great comfort in knowing that I am supposed to have enjoy, have fun, and when my day comes, my husband will come running for me with open arms.
Unlike the "well-meaning" advice of other people, I don't need to run out and find another man to have an active, loved and fulfilled life.  He doesn't need to tell me how beautiful I am, nor that he is going to take care of me.  Please -- after 2-1/2 years of walking the journey I can fully take care of myself.  And no one will touch the parts of my body that my husband did.  Thinking of that aspect just makes me want to gag.
Anyway, that's my update.  To each their own.