My life
where do I begin?
I used to love to write journals.Then I felt there was no need.Now its too damn depressing..
Work-work is crazy.Business has picked up.I picked up an extra job making copies for a law firm.One hour before work, one hour or so after work.Work on weekends.
Kids-the kids are doing good..easy enough
My grandma is sick.She is in the hospital.Not sure whats wrong with her yet but its quite scary.
I feel so stressed and overwhelmed.Theres so much more going on in my life that I just cant write about.I found myself drinking alot to take the edge off...I even bought cigarettes after not smoking for over 3 years. ( I would smoke here and there but to actually buy them..UGH)
I love my kids..I love the important people in my life but I hate my life
I used to love to write journals.Then I felt there was no need.Now its too damn depressing..
Work-work is crazy.Business has picked up.I picked up an extra job making copies for a law firm.One hour before work, one hour or so after work.Work on weekends.
Kids-the kids are doing good..easy enough
My grandma is sick.She is in the hospital.Not sure whats wrong with her yet but its quite scary.
I feel so stressed and overwhelmed.Theres so much more going on in my life that I just cant write about.I found myself drinking alot to take the edge off...I even bought cigarettes after not smoking for over 3 years. ( I would smoke here and there but to actually buy them..UGH)
I love my kids..I love the important people in my life but I hate my life
Replies
Tray I so know how you feel. My life is crazy town too. I love my kids more than anything in the world but man do I need a break.
I am so sorry to hear about your Grandma, I hope you find out whats wrong soon. Don\'t be too hard on yourself for drinking a little. I understand about loosing yourself a little with drinking, if you need someone to talk to. I spent a few years loosing myself to alcohol. I smoked cigarettes too, though I haven\'t touched those in years, I do drink a beer every so often. Not as good at beer drinking as I used to be (absolutely not bragging) but it does take the edge off in the evening when the kids are in bed. Especially when both kids go down kicking and screaming.
As you and I both know I have also had a journal-writing-melt-down. As if journal writing isn\'t difficult enough, now we have these \"open journals\" for friends to read, which (i don\'t know bout you) leave you feeling a little butt hurt when no one replies... since when was a journal writing a public affair? I suppose the therapeutic side is getting everyone to reply. Its true too. Some of the things people say can really brighten a day. Its just too bad that it leaves journal writing with a bit of pressure..\"is anyone out there listening?\"
I hear you Tray! Hope your feeling better soon. Lots of love. NIkki >^..^
Your life, not much to it. Your drinking and smoking are unhealthy addictions, usually associated with past abuse either received by or meted out by you. Self abuse is not the answer to past abuse of any kind, so please do not punish yourself in this way for too long because I am sure that whatever you have done in the past is not that bad, and even if it was, you don\'t sound to me like you are that person now. Be kind to yourself because you can, in much the same way that you are currently being unkind to yourself, by choice. You are a proud person, of that I sense from this piece, so maintain strength through this dark period, and I am sure you will find a light. Believe in yourself, because a fine woman you are.
I can identify with you when you say you don\'t like your life and you have been drinking and smoking more to just try to take some of that emotional pain away! It\'s better to reach out to a friend then to use chemicals that will surely shorten your life. I have big shoulders and you are welcome to use them...anytime! Love you!