My List
Romantic things I need you to do for me:
1. Write me love letters (or emails)
2. Call me often to check on me or just to say "I love you". Let me know that I am on your mind constantly.
3. Open doors for me.
4. Draw me a surprise bubble bath with candles. Be romantic about it.
5. Cook dinner for me for a change.
6. Kiss me deeply unexpectedly.
7. Take my breath away with a kiss.
8. Wake me up in the middle of the night with kisses.
9. Ask me out on a date.
10. Occasionally bring me flowers. It does not have to be roses. Just some that are pretty, even if they might be out of the flowerbed.
11. Share with me your feelings and thoughts.
12. Make me laugh till I cry, even if you have to tickle me to get that.
13. Plan an overnight trip for us without our kids.
14. Surprise me with a lunch or evening out.
15. Surprise me.
16. Leave me love notes.
17. Find ways to remind me that I am the only one in your life you desire.
18. Dance with me.
19. Be passionate with me.
20. Remind me that it is OK for me to think about myself for a change - ex: buy a shirt with no guilt, go have my nails done with no guilt!
21. Let me know that the things I do for you are appreciated.
22. Let me know that I am still desirable to you. I need to see that hungry look in your eyes.
23. Walk up to me and give me a hug with a deep, passionate kiss - sweep me off my feet (figuratively).
24. If I have nightmares - hold me until the pain and fear is gone.
25. Take a walk with me - hold my hand.
26. Kiss my hand and the back of my neck. These two actions are especially endearing to me.
27. Let me know that I "turn you on" by words and actions. I need to feel desired by you.
28. Pull me close to you in bed and kiss me deeply and passionately.
29. Be very understanding if I need to cry and "let it out" without feeling that I am obsessing.
30. Anything else you can think of that might help.
Trust must be earned - I am trying very hard to trust you. I don't look at phone records or email accounts anymore. I am CHOOSING to not do that.
Security - I have none. I feel that you could do this to me again at anytime. I am suspicious of everyone you are with. You told me that you no longer wanted to be with me. Those are words that are hard to move past. Once said, they can never be taken back.
I do love you. I do not know if that is enough now. You ripped my heart out and destroyed my trust and security in our life together. I want it back, I just don't know if that is possible.
1. Write me love letters (or emails)
2. Call me often to check on me or just to say "I love you". Let me know that I am on your mind constantly.
3. Open doors for me.
4. Draw me a surprise bubble bath with candles. Be romantic about it.
5. Cook dinner for me for a change.
6. Kiss me deeply unexpectedly.
7. Take my breath away with a kiss.
8. Wake me up in the middle of the night with kisses.
9. Ask me out on a date.
10. Occasionally bring me flowers. It does not have to be roses. Just some that are pretty, even if they might be out of the flowerbed.
11. Share with me your feelings and thoughts.
12. Make me laugh till I cry, even if you have to tickle me to get that.
13. Plan an overnight trip for us without our kids.
14. Surprise me with a lunch or evening out.
15. Surprise me.
16. Leave me love notes.
17. Find ways to remind me that I am the only one in your life you desire.
18. Dance with me.
19. Be passionate with me.
20. Remind me that it is OK for me to think about myself for a change - ex: buy a shirt with no guilt, go have my nails done with no guilt!
21. Let me know that the things I do for you are appreciated.
22. Let me know that I am still desirable to you. I need to see that hungry look in your eyes.
23. Walk up to me and give me a hug with a deep, passionate kiss - sweep me off my feet (figuratively).
24. If I have nightmares - hold me until the pain and fear is gone.
25. Take a walk with me - hold my hand.
26. Kiss my hand and the back of my neck. These two actions are especially endearing to me.
27. Let me know that I "turn you on" by words and actions. I need to feel desired by you.
28. Pull me close to you in bed and kiss me deeply and passionately.
29. Be very understanding if I need to cry and "let it out" without feeling that I am obsessing.
30. Anything else you can think of that might help.
Trust must be earned - I am trying very hard to trust you. I don't look at phone records or email accounts anymore. I am CHOOSING to not do that.
Security - I have none. I feel that you could do this to me again at anytime. I am suspicious of everyone you are with. You told me that you no longer wanted to be with me. Those are words that are hard to move past. Once said, they can never be taken back.
I do love you. I do not know if that is enough now. You ripped my heart out and destroyed my trust and security in our life together. I want it back, I just don't know if that is possible.
Replies
These are all wonderful ideas. My husband has done quite a few of them for me. I hope yours takes these great ideas to heart & surprises you with many of them soon! I love the kiss me deeply & be passsionate with me!! I think that is where our relationship struggles the most. I wonder how many husbands truly try to regain the passion w/their wives after the affair. It would mean the world to me to have that kind of passion that they experienced with the other woman. That truly isn\'t fair!! Let me know how he does with the list of ideas!
My husband has already done about half of the things on the list but I included them so that he could see what he was doing was what I wanted from him.
He is not a romantic person by nature but he had me email this list to him so that he has it. It is now on his IPhone. LOL.
He has told me that there was no passion and very little kissing of any kind between them. They rarely kissed and not deeply. He has told me that I am the only one he does that with. I hope he can restore most of the passion we shared. I am only hoping for most. I don\'t know if all is possible. I would like to think so but am not sure.
Feel free to take the list and modify it. I got the idea from someone else on here and decided to make my own.
Thanks!!!! I hope things are going well for you!
I could have written this list myself Shawnda. Our situations are so similar and we both want the same thing. We need for our husbands to SHOW us that we are the ones they want. It\'s the words that matter...it\'s the actions. I hope this gets through to him. To be honest, I don\'t think it\'s really asking too much of your husband to put a little extra effort in making you feel loved. After everything they\'ve done to us, it\'s the LEAST they can do. I\'m going to copy this list and send it to my H.
I\'m glad he\'s been doing some of the things on this list. All they need to do is put in a little effort. I don\'t think that\'s asking too much.
No it is not asking to much!! I put him and our kids ahead of me for the last 12 years that I have lost who I am. I need to know that he loves me. I need to know that I matter to him. I need to know that he wants to be with me more than anything. I need me back.
I want/need the passion back in our marriage. I need the romance to open my heart back up to him. If I mean anything to him, he should have no problem doing this. If he can\'t, then I know my answer. He put so much time into texting her and talking to her on the phone (no matter what it was about) but is not able to put the effort into me now. I know I am not as exciting as she was. I know that every time he sees me, he knows how bad he has hurt me and how he screwed up our marriage. This list is just a start to what I need from him.
I hope it helps you too. We need to know that we are worth the effort!!!!