my journey

 when i first stopped everyone around me thought i was drinking asking to smell my breath etc and believe you me i was so nervous about everything in life my whole life was fear after about 3 weeks i felt superb like im on top that mountain in rocky 4 i went away with work first night i was fine second night bang i got some good news and yep lets celebrate i remember putting the drink to my lips i had no numbers on me oh god that was it we sat in the pub till 10.50pm they shut at 11pm i rushed the kid i was with so we could run to tesco's to get some more beer he went to toilet in the bushes i chucked a can down my throat i knew then that night i cant drink sensibly see if there's a bank holiday i think oh shops are shut tomorrow so i plan ahead lets get enough to cover today tonight tomorrow a normal drinker doeas not plan like that and when i pick up i just cant stop i was drinking heavily at work even closing the shop to go to have a sleep i finally gave up on a tuesday 17th july 2007 2pm i'd had 12 cans looked at a girl i know said do i look ok she said yer you look good shit i thought this has to stop i got through the day and thought i'll get some on the way to the meeting but i slept on the bus its an hour and a half journey and woke up and something just was in my head saying ive had enough to this day im sober i only do this by just keeping it in today i cant and wont think about tomorrow or christmas etc as for AA i was pissed at my first one and the 2nd 3rd 4th etc but when i walked in wow its like been at home honest its so friendly and your made to feel so welcome i love AA i always come away feeling great my life now is full of confidence the fear has all but gone i will get better still ive been told i cant believe how much ive changed i was a wreck 12 months ago timid shy and a nervous wreck we can all beat this but just for today xxmarkyxxoh 1 year next week