My inner boy
As im walking along the path, up ahead there is a hill where large rocks lay. They are square in shape, dark gray in color, and the tops are weather beaten. They are large enough to allow a car to sit on top....but what i see is a little boy. Hes sitting there with his knees to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs.
He is wearing clothes that surely look to be handme downs, cheap pair of little sneakers, his hair is all messed up, and it looks like he was crying. You can see the dirt streaks from him wiping away tears with his little hands.
I am only about 10 feet from the boy. But he does not notice me. I do not speak for i feel it is not my place. I watch him. I see his loneliness. I see he is scared. Something has terrified this boy. He lacks nurturing, he lacks love, he lacks direction.
He starts to cry....no words just crying. He gasps for air. Im not sure..but this boy may have been scared for his life. This boy has been neglected.
The boy and i notice someone else walking toward the rocks. The boy seems to know him. The boy doesnt move but seems relieved. I now know also who he is.
It is the adult me. The me who i want to be. Should be. But not always am. Confident, secure, looks and feels in great health. Very responsible this man is, a man whose word you can count on. ...He goes and talks with the boy.
Asking the boy whats the matter and before he can even get the last words out of his mouth the boy starts expressing. I mean...theres no breathe between these rushed words....the first thing hes saying is....That he wants to be with Franny. Franny is the girl im dating now. He really likes her....he loves so much the hugs and kisses that he wants it everyday all the time. He thinks that when or if she doesnt call back...or if she isnt reaching out all the time that she doesnt like us. Somewhere, somehow this boy did not get what he needed. This boy did not grow up with hugs and kisses from his parents.
The adult chimes in. Says ok...i hear ya. I understand. The adult explains that we cant be overbaring, we need to allow space for relationships to grow. He hugs the boy and tells him that he loves him. That he will protect and teach him. That all is and will be ok even if things dont work out with Franny. he tells the boy to keep feeling, keep expressing his desires wants and hurts. That he...the adult...will nurture..will listen...will care for...will love forever and always keep his interests priority.
The boy smiles....theres relief for now.
I watch as they have one last hug and part their ways.
He is wearing clothes that surely look to be handme downs, cheap pair of little sneakers, his hair is all messed up, and it looks like he was crying. You can see the dirt streaks from him wiping away tears with his little hands.
I am only about 10 feet from the boy. But he does not notice me. I do not speak for i feel it is not my place. I watch him. I see his loneliness. I see he is scared. Something has terrified this boy. He lacks nurturing, he lacks love, he lacks direction.
He starts to cry....no words just crying. He gasps for air. Im not sure..but this boy may have been scared for his life. This boy has been neglected.
The boy and i notice someone else walking toward the rocks. The boy seems to know him. The boy doesnt move but seems relieved. I now know also who he is.
It is the adult me. The me who i want to be. Should be. But not always am. Confident, secure, looks and feels in great health. Very responsible this man is, a man whose word you can count on. ...He goes and talks with the boy.
Asking the boy whats the matter and before he can even get the last words out of his mouth the boy starts expressing. I mean...theres no breathe between these rushed words....the first thing hes saying is....That he wants to be with Franny. Franny is the girl im dating now. He really likes her....he loves so much the hugs and kisses that he wants it everyday all the time. He thinks that when or if she doesnt call back...or if she isnt reaching out all the time that she doesnt like us. Somewhere, somehow this boy did not get what he needed. This boy did not grow up with hugs and kisses from his parents.
The adult chimes in. Says ok...i hear ya. I understand. The adult explains that we cant be overbaring, we need to allow space for relationships to grow. He hugs the boy and tells him that he loves him. That he will protect and teach him. That all is and will be ok even if things dont work out with Franny. he tells the boy to keep feeling, keep expressing his desires wants and hurts. That he...the adult...will nurture..will listen...will care for...will love forever and always keep his interests priority.
The boy smiles....theres relief for now.
I watch as they have one last hug and part their ways.
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