My husbands birthday

On Tues 4/14 I tried to commit suicide but was saved by my son. I am extremely happy today because I am here to celebrate Tony's (hubby) birthday. When I think of the pain he would have been in today had I succeeded I am embarrased and sickened by that selfish act.  We are going to see our little grandchildren this eve. First a T-ball game and then food and cake and stuff. Our 6 and 4 year old will be playing and it will be too cute for words!!  I've started going to AA. I finally gave in to it. I really don't like the meetings but I can't do this to my family again. I tried this in 1991 also. I have to remain strong and find a way to stop being so desperately lonely. Have 16 days under my belt and I will just keep trying.