My Husband Lost His Job Today Very Sad

I don’t want to write this.  It's Thursday.  I don’t have time to write this because my family’s coming over.  So I will summarize and maybe write more another time.  My husband lost his job today.  He was acting very strange about things the other night and I could tell something was going to happen.  But then he said everything was OK with his job.  After they told him this morning he went a couple places and then to see my counselor.  She said to come back in 20 minutes and she talked to him maybe 15-20 minutes.  Then he came home to tell me. 
I had an appointment with her today and she said he was afraid of my reaction and that’s why he came to see her first.  She said she’ll see us both tomorrow.  She told me it’s important to be supportive.  All these flashbacks of all these other times keep coming back.  I don’t think she realizes how hard this is and I do know I have to be supportive.  I used to say this has happened 10 times (really it has) – now it’s the 11th time.  Very hard!
He wants to drive out to the state my son is in.  She thought that would be a very good idea.  I wanted to talk about packing with her today but things might change if he brings a car.  I wanted to try out this longer shirt and jeans.  I had little bertha on and we went out back to walk.  We didn’t even go around one time and I said, “I can’t hold it,” and we went back.  We both looked to see that it helped but you could still see wetness. 
Another time I wanted to go next door.  She didn’t think we should.  I wanted to go and to buy something.  So we did.  We were out on the parking lot, between the 2, and I called her name and told her I couldn’t do this.  “You can’t.  OK, let’s go back,” she told me and we did.  No conversation at all either time and I hate that so much.  I changed upstairs in her bathroom – a little hesitant going in but luckily no one was there.  The first time downstairs and she waited for me.  After we got back she said she didn’t think it was a good idea and that we really need to talk about my husband and myself.  I noticed that the bottom of my shirt was a little wet and said.  She asked me what I think happened and I told her just upset about things.  She said there’s a time and place to do this but not now. 
We talked about things.  I was very quiet.  I’m holding it all in.  In fact, I called later and left her a message and cried.  I even called again at night and left a message.  I’m OK with people and my husband but when I’m by myself I think about the reality of it all and want to cry and cry.  When I came in I told her I just wanted to talk about other things.  I told my massage therapist what happened and I was very quiet with her, too. 
My therapist is going to see my husband & I together tomorrow (Friday) 4 PM.  She said we’ll work things out for me to keep coming to see her (Cobra or not) – even 2 times a week.  That’s very nice but I don’t know exactly how she means.  I can’t loose her – especially now.  I know she knows that.
I wondered about continuing doing what I’m doing with waiting longer and drinking more.  She said I should do that anyway.  I can not want to.  There is so much and I can’t write now.  She’s trying to make this upbeat and I’m not feeling very upbeat now because I know what happens and what can happen.  Please no!  Nothing bad – only good! 
After much deliberation I pin pointed down my husband (in front of my some of my kids) and asked him to decide about the logistics of getting out to help my son.  My therapist had said when he came in he said he wanted to drive out there.  She thinks it would be very therapeutic.  But I thought he’d just meet us but it seemed like he wants me to drive with him.  I put it in his ballpark to decide and he did.  Now we have to rearrange so much.  Spending lots more money and that scares me, too. 
It’s Friday now and my husband & I went back to see my therapist 4 PM.  It’s really her day off – very nice to do this.  We just talked about things about the trip, his finding work, money, dealing with our son, being patient about my problem and such.  The most important thing is we are together on all of this.  And to be frugal but have fun.  She alluded to me talking to him when I’m feeling bad. 
My husband was very, very verbal today and talked “sense” in all of this but what she doesn’t understand is lots of times he’s all talk.  I noticed today how very much like his brother he is.  When it comes down to it he doesn’t say or do what he talks about.  And sometimes he either goes off on tangents or doesn’t say a word to me for long, long times.  I don’t know if she understands this about him.  He really doesn’t do and say the things he talks about and says he will.  Maybe he will.  That will be very nice!  I want to have a good time on this trip – everyone – and not have to bother calling her.  But I’ll need to talk to her about options just in case.  I see her Mon & Tues this coming week. 
When I needed to go to the bathroom I waited just a little, looked at the clock and tried not to make it look obvious.  I don’t know if anyone noticed.  No one said anything.  Finally I just said, “I’ll be right back,” and went and came back.  Not a word about it.  That was nice.  I did say that besides needing my husband to be patient about it on the trip, not to yell at me, help me hide it and I don’t want our son knowing.  He said not to wait too long and if I need to pull off that’s fine, or catch up with our son later, too.  Whew!