My husband died less than a month ago.

  On Valentines day my husband was diagonsed with stage 3a lung cancer. Less than two months later he died on our bathroom floor. His treatments were working. The tumors were shrinking. He looked healthy and his doctors told me it was treatable. I keep thinking this is just a horrible nightmare. He was supposed to beat this. He was the luckiest person I ever met. He was the person who would buy a lottery ticket and win five grand and weeks later win another five grand. How could this be real? I'm having such a hard time functioning. I was fired because I was sick for weeks. I am in shock and am trying to pretend to be ok for our three adult sons. How do you "move on"? How can anything bring you joy again. People keep telling me at least he didn't suffer and I pretend to agree but I want him back. I still sleep with his dirty laundry and cry myself to sleep at night. I hate feelng like this. Tonight I got a call from one of his childhood friends and I had to tell  him. When I tell people they sound like they are suffering more than me but I feel like I'm being slowly tortured to death. Does this really get easier? How do you stop hurting?