My House
Today is 11-16. Called and left my daughter a Happy birthday message. No return call or email. I make it through another day, but for what? So I can brag to others that I made it through? I have not mentioned that I have no Health Insurance, at the first opportunity the ex cut me off last Oct. 2009 before I was finished with all of reconstruction. I managed to find the money last May to have a Mammo so I know for this year I have no more cancer, but what about this year? If I don't think about it, it won't bother me. So I stick my head in the sand and wait. I can't go to a doctor anymore if I have any problems. Everyone says "go to therapy", but I can't afford to go. I don't have enough money to cover my monthly bills as it is. I am slowly eating up my savings/retirement! My ex cut my son and myself off of his Insurance Oct.2009, now he is making so much money he has reinstated my son. I live in an RV. I couldn't get an apartment in a half way decent area, because I had no job and "no income"! How come I pay taxes on my support, but it's not income? The cheapest place to live was in an RV park. I have made the best of it(as I do with all things!). But now I will have to give up the RV if I never find a job. My ex also has a restraining order against me that is in effect until July 7,2011. So I can't visit the homes of my friends and neighbors until then. I ran into a neighbor who told me a funny story. Her grown nephew was visiting her, but getting ready to leave. He was putting luggage in the car when a women walking a dog stopped and talked to him. "Do you know what happened to the woman that used to live next door ?" He replied no. She then said it was such a shame the woman who used to live next door always took such good care of that house , she mowed the lawn, painted the house, etc. "Now the place looks like a dump!" All the plants are dead, there is trash and junk left lying all over the yard, cars that have weeds growing up around them cause they don't run, its just terrible! " I wish she had gotten the house!"
Silly isn't it, but that house meant almost more to me than my ex. I worked really hard to make it look nice so that he and the kids would be proud of "THEIR HOME"!I did things the hard way because it was cheaper for them if I did it. Not once in 18 years did that man do much of anything around that house. I had never painted a house,but had seen my Dad do it when I was younger, so when the ex said he couldn't be bothered painting the house, I offered. So for my Mother's day gift he bought me a belt sander. (I was taking too long trying to sand the trim by hand!) But to hear my ex talk he was the one interested in any kind of plant and it was his dream to live in his own house. Well he still lives there. He bought the house with an old girlfriend before we were married(she married someone else because she couldn't stand my ex!)I lived in that house for 18 years. Now he can move someone else in. In the 25 years he has lived in the house he has never taken care of the yard or the house. And absolutely flips out, if it is suggested he have someone else do the work and he has to pay them. The city has already sent him letters complaining about the junk. He cleans what ever they complain about, but just moves stuff to another location on the grounds. Some day they will realize what he does and then the roof really will come down on his head!
I know I am better off without him, but maybe if I could have just put up with him for a little longer things would have worked out okay. At least I might have still been in contact with my children and they would have liked me better. Now I am the ogre that destroyed their wonderful family life. I made them all suffer, while I enjoyed myself. I don't think they realize how much I gave up and suffer to this day for their happiness. I rented a room from a stranger for 6 months, then from a friend for a year. But I had no place to have them live with me until I got this RV. Now they can spend the night or even live with me. I stayed in the same neighborhood they grew up in, and I did it all so they could be with me some of the time. But it was a waste of my time, money and effort.
Silly isn't it, but that house meant almost more to me than my ex. I worked really hard to make it look nice so that he and the kids would be proud of "THEIR HOME"!I did things the hard way because it was cheaper for them if I did it. Not once in 18 years did that man do much of anything around that house. I had never painted a house,but had seen my Dad do it when I was younger, so when the ex said he couldn't be bothered painting the house, I offered. So for my Mother's day gift he bought me a belt sander. (I was taking too long trying to sand the trim by hand!) But to hear my ex talk he was the one interested in any kind of plant and it was his dream to live in his own house. Well he still lives there. He bought the house with an old girlfriend before we were married(she married someone else because she couldn't stand my ex!)I lived in that house for 18 years. Now he can move someone else in. In the 25 years he has lived in the house he has never taken care of the yard or the house. And absolutely flips out, if it is suggested he have someone else do the work and he has to pay them. The city has already sent him letters complaining about the junk. He cleans what ever they complain about, but just moves stuff to another location on the grounds. Some day they will realize what he does and then the roof really will come down on his head!
I know I am better off without him, but maybe if I could have just put up with him for a little longer things would have worked out okay. At least I might have still been in contact with my children and they would have liked me better. Now I am the ogre that destroyed their wonderful family life. I made them all suffer, while I enjoyed myself. I don't think they realize how much I gave up and suffer to this day for their happiness. I rented a room from a stranger for 6 months, then from a friend for a year. But I had no place to have them live with me until I got this RV. Now they can spend the night or even live with me. I stayed in the same neighborhood they grew up in, and I did it all so they could be with me some of the time. But it was a waste of my time, money and effort.
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