My heart is still beating

Not this best of weeks this has been.  Not much to say but I am glad I can feel pain.  I still have hope.  Not much else.  I got to see my kids today in church.  My little one is not as fond of me as she once was.  This is my little girl and it is breaking my heart that she is growing so far apart from me.  She smiles at me with those beautiful eyes and the go right into my heart.  I am trying not to cry as it will make me sick and I need my strength.  I think I am about a step away from a nervous break down.  I will do only what I can and that is prayer.