My heart is sad...

I just got back from spending the day at the hospital with my grandmother. It was the most heartbreaking thing ever. I just kept standing at the end of her bed watching her struggle to breath and moan in pain. I wasn't expecting her to get so much worse so fast. She has congestive heart failure. And since she is diabetic her kidneys are failing. They are working less then 30% right now. And also other organs are failing like her pancrease. Her doctors warn us that hospice is just around the corner for her.  I'm so crushed. She is practically my mother. Nineteen months ago she lost her short term memory. She's out of it most of the time, but once in a while she becomes more lucid. When she leaves the hospital she has to go back to the nursing home since my grandfather won't take her back home. She was begging me to keep her out of there. But I have no way of taking care of her with a one bedroom apartment. I wish there was something I could do.  I'm so lost guys...I just don't know what to do. I've never lost anyone close to me. I feel so helpless... Jessica