My heart hurts

I met with the friend I had the breakup with yesterday.  It didn't end well.  I begged them to tell me after a month, why, they would text me.  I was just about over them.  The reckless side wants to just quit the illusion I'm  living and give this person a chance, but, the responsible side says, don't go close to that fire, you'll get burnt.  And I did.  How do you hurt someone who's been with you through thick and thin only to give someone your afraid getting hurt by a chance?  Is life too short?

I spent 35.00 at the Urgent care last night and the only thing I got was advice although I took it seriously so, I guess I got my 35.00 dollars worth.  Don't watch tv or look at your cell phone after a certain time of night, keep the room cold, etc.  I doubled my dose of Melatonin last night and think I got some sleep.  It's hard to tell anymore although I do feel slightly more rested and alert.  As hard as it was, thinking maybe I'd get a text from my friend, I left my phone turned off in the car.  I'm going to try to start out doing that every other day.  Then 2 days and so on and so on until I don't feel I need it anymore. 

Ive got a new mission to get to the Lowe's this week an save another plant from the clearance rack.  I guess my caretaker instincts are screaming for something to take care of.  I have two porches, one thats shaded and the other that is full sun.  I will save those poor wilting green babies from getting thrown out.  I wish someone would save me.