My head was right
Last night I went to bed with an excrutiating migraine. I noticed yesterday I could here the flourscent lights above me buzzing and the lights seemed brighter than usual. I'm chalking it to the barometric pressure fluctuating and its storming today-my head never fails me-atleast with the weather.
I am sitting here with too much time on my hands thinking about Roomie and feeling guilty-wondering "Did I give it my all?" or after giving him chance after chance , should I give him another one?
I was watching youtube today and someone said in relationships, the energy of one person may expand to the other. It makes sense-he can't express himself. He's passive. I'm going to research why a 57 y/o man becomes so passive. Does it happen in childhood? Did the ex who beat him with golf clubs break him? Should I have to pay for these issues? When he doesn't communicate, I take on that energy and stop expressing myself. After being in a 16 year repressful marriage I have to ask myself "Do I need to be in this relationship and continue not expressing myself?" I find myself gravitating to strangers more because of the light and energy they exude. I want to step out of this darkness Ive been feeling and think maybe Roomie is contributing to the burnt out bulbs...sigh....
Replies
So? ? ? Is this the end of you focusing on your own personal growth?
Roomie's issues are his to sort, whether you do the romance yaddah blah or knot. I doubt you'll find his strictly personal case study on the internet and not all 57 year old men are clones. They vary almost as much as 57 year old women.
Try not to make his issues...your issues....
Whatever they are, you can't fix him and you would drive yourself crazy, trying to.
Try to focus on yourself and seek happiness within,
Yes...Ill focus on myself...probably been the problem all along.
I don't know about you, Sage, but I have wa-a-a-a-ay more than one problem. Life seems to be an endless smorgasbord of problems.
We all have holes to fill
Them holes is all that's real
Some fall on you like a storm
Sometimes you dig your own ~Townes van Zandt (To Live is to Fly)
Yes Arfie, just when I think my problems are huge, I remember there are people gong thru far more than I.
This is just a place for me to vent and far cheaper that therapy :)
Even if you had the formula for formal psychotherapy, I've never had a therapist who even tried to replace my peer support nor vice versa. The two are highly compatible. If forced to choose between the two, I'd go with the peer support. There are far more mercenaries than friends to be found in Pro World.
Yea, I usually slither away when the conversations turn to people going through far more than the person speaking. I seldom call anybody's attention to the facts, but it all too often ends with everybody being glad they are not me. Start and end the gratitude without me, folks.
Personally, I believe that pain is pain. It exists to let us know something is in need of fixing. Don't compare. Just get busy on the fixing. You can get fatal gangrene from a paper cut if you neglect it hard enough. Keep on venting and sorting.