My habits have changed.....
One thing I have noticed that I hate about myself now is that I'm so sensitive. I cry at watching commercials. I don't leave my house anymore. People used to call me Happy Feet because I was always off on some adventure. I used to love reading, however my attention span is about 5 min now. I gave my two beautiful cats to my mom a year ago because I was such a mess and wasn't taking care of them and now that I'm a little better and miss them, she refuses to give them back! lol she is attached so I accept it. I used to love watching Cheaters, now I can't stand that show. And any movie that has infidelity involved makes me break down in tears, and its only a movie! I was the best cook too! Now I have a half a gallon of milk and 1 egg in the fridge. I don't smile anymore or when I do, you can see it's forced. I pray I will be that glowing happy adventurous and humorous person I once was. Just venting. I do okay as long as I don't have dreams about the past.....My goal here is to keep venting and to talk to others especially new ones where the pain is fresh because I noticed helping others feel good makes me feel wonderful, it's medicinal for me.
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I find helping others helps me. That I don\'t watch the show cheaters anymore. That even though one of my dogs was taken and I cant get him back, there is another loving pup just waiting for me to come get him. That if I got my ass up on Saturday and to the store, I acutally have more then just chips, milk and soda in my ouse thus increasing my chances of cooking. and that, I was told recently by old friends/gfriends that I was always known as a guy on the go, great smle and sense of humor, always moving forward, never slowing down.
So much of what was, has continued to remind me of who it is I am to be.
Sounds like you\'re terribly depressed. Therapy can help. I suggest you look into it! Life\'s too short to be miserable.