My friend Jody

Saturday my son agreed to go to NYC to visit the American Museum of Natural History.(I have never been there! Kids and husband have been.) While we were there I got a phone call I didn't recognize, they left a message so I listened to it as soon as I had a moment. One of my best and oldest friends, Jody, died last Monday. It was her mother calling to tell me the news. I just can't believe it....I was just visiting her last Spring. She is very athletic and seemed to have nothing wrong. Her Mom said she died from blood clots in her lungs but she didn't want to go into details just yet. There will be no funeral, but they will have a memorial Dec. 5th. I am in shock, I cry but I can't believe it. My friend was only just 59 years old. How can this be?Why couldn't the good lord take me? I am doing nothing on this earth but crying and being miserable. I serve no useful purpose anymore. I have no one and nothing. I am wasteful and unappreciative of what I have or had. I should be the one to die, not Jody. Not someone who did something with her life. She had a family that loved her, lots of friends. Maybe she didn't have a husband, but so what. She had a REAL family that loved her. Not like mine that don't even acknowledge I exist or had anything to do with them, now or before. I know I am a broken record, but I just can't believe what has happened to me and is still happening to me. I must give my son credit he did seem somewhat taken aback that a friend of mine could actually die. We quickly finished with the museum and went back to his school. He had a concert that night at 8pm with a dress rehearsal at 4pm. I managed to compose myself in the 4 hours I sat in my car waiting for my son to finish his rehearsal. I called my Best friend and surrogate Mom Dorothy back in California and told her the news. I know at my age I shouldn't have a mom, but mine died 13 years ago and she really was my BEST FRIEND. Like I said I managed to compose myself and the concert was wonderful. My son never played a musical instrument until he was in 9th grade and signed up for Marching Band. He wanted to play the drums, but they started him on Percussion Instruments consisting of the Marimbas and the Xylophone. He worked his way through all the drums, Bass, snare and quads. He even took up the Trombone his last year. In this concert he played the Tympani's because this is an Orchestra. On Dec. 4 he is playing another school concert with the Concert Band. In that concert he said he is playing all the odd extra instruments, like bells, cymbals, etc. I am very proud of my son's interest in music. I like music, but haven't got the foggiest idea how to play anything! So we went to Staten Island to have Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner all at the same time yesterday(got there around 1pm)had a nice meal, then took him to Liberty Park. He is in his 2nd year at Stevens and has never been to the Statue of Liberty???!! He had to be back by 6pm for another practice, so tried to take him back at 4:30pm but the fire department was at his building(he said it was probably a false alarm)so we couldn't park. We went to the A&P instead, got him some more food for his room and got me some things to munch on in the hotel room.(Boy some restaurant prices are ridiculous here!)Then went back and dropped him off. Now I won't see him until Tuesday afternoon around 3pm. Is it me, or what? but if my mother had flown all the way from San Diego to visit me for one week I would have spent every available minute with her. I guess sons are different. So it is 6:59am and I have a long period of time to get through. I miss you Jody.