My first week
This has been my first week of realising that I am an alcoholic and that I need help. I quit drinking after a bad Saturday night out. I have had a drinking problem since I was in my early twenties. I feel like I have little control and I drink until I pass out or can't remember. I know it is not healthy. I know it is not the person I want to be or be seen as that guy who always gets too drunk. I would drink everyday some more than others but I am lucky that it has never really impacted my career. It is impacting now my family which is a wake up call. I feel very overwhelmed as the thought of never drinking again seems too difficult and I wish I could be a social drinker. A drinker that can have a couple of drinks and then stop... For some reason I can't, I jest want one more and another. I enjoy drinking but it is going to end up killing me or I will lose my family and friends.
It has been a hard week with feeling ashamed and like a failure. My wife is at her ends with me but is supportive now that I am seeking help.
This is my first Friday that I have been sober and it feels better. I don't feel like drinking now but I know in a few weeks I will and that is when I will find it hard.
I am sure my story is no different to others. I am thankful that I have not done more damage by my drinking. It is time to change and I am hoping to connect with people on this forum that I can learn from and change my life.
It has been a hard week with feeling ashamed and like a failure. My wife is at her ends with me but is supportive now that I am seeking help.
This is my first Friday that I have been sober and it feels better. I don't feel like drinking now but I know in a few weeks I will and that is when I will find it hard.
I am sure my story is no different to others. I am thankful that I have not done more damage by my drinking. It is time to change and I am hoping to connect with people on this forum that I can learn from and change my life.
Replies
I have lasted 7 days now without a drink and I am feeling much better. The hardest part has been the realisation that I have a drinking problem and that I don\'t think I can ever be a social drinker.
I am not as depressed as I was during the week. I spent a lot of last week awake during the night in tears just trying to understand how I had become this person. I feel more positive but I still find it hard to imagine that I can actually succeed. Hoping that as the weeks progress, my confidence will grow and I will be able to have more self belief.
I have a great friend that has been so supportive this week and I have needed that more than anytime in my life. My wife is becoming more understanding but it is impacting her as she is a social drinker. It does not bother me if she drinks. We went out last night for dinner and she ordered a beer and it did not bother me. I know what I have to do.
I do feel pressure from other friends. I have a going away party this Saturday and an end of year party that will be full of alcohol. I don\'t want to drink and I know I can manage it but I will have to tell everyone that I am on medication that is not allowing me to drink. This will stop the pressure. Being around people that is drinking does not bother me. Especially if I have made to decision not to drink.
I had the best night sleep last night and woke up for the first time on a Sunday morning with a clear head. No hangovers are great and I have to look at the positives. I have started to take more multivitamins and look forward to being so much more healthier. I have to focus on the positives.
In the taxi drive to work today, I felt great. There was no head mess. I wasn\'t thinking about the bad stuff I had done over the weekend and I was not exhausted as I am most Monday\'s from staying up late to drink. I hope in months to come, I can come back and read this for motivation to not drink when I know (or think) that I can have a drink.
My face is less bloated and the bags from under my eyes are gone, my skin feels so much better and this is only after a week. I go back to the hospital tonight to get my bloods tested as a few weeks back my liver showed high toxicity to yeast. It was double the amount so I am hoping that this will have lowered.
I didn\'t fight with my wife this weekend over stupid stuff and hung out with my kids more. I also got work done which was really productive. It has only been a week and I know I have a very long way to go but seeing the positives in such a short time is helping.
We went to one of our favourite outside restaurants last night and I usually drink so much there. It didn\'t bother me as I drank soda water! I have been in this position so many times before but I have never had access to this kind of site so I know I am using an extra strategy to help prevent me going back to drink.
Once I get back into training at the gym I will be even more focussed and hopefully ease the urge to drink.
I have spent the past three weeks in and out of hospital as I had a blood clot in my vein (arm). Apart from my drinking problem, I am generally very healthy. I stay fit, eat healthy and do not smoke. Alcohol has caused so much damage in my life. Yesterday, after more blood test and a liver scan, I have fatty acids. I know this will easily be resolved by not drinking. I am now on day 11 and I have to go back for final testing on June 28. Stopping the drink now is easier than what I thought but I have been here so many times. In 4 weeks time it will catch up with me and unless I find a way to over come this. I will start drinking again. This is what really worries me. It is clear in my head now that I should not be a drinker as it hasn\'t brought me many good times if I really think about it.
I feel so good not drinking and not waking up with a hangover feels amazing. I will look for counselling so that when I hit the 4 week mark I will have more support. This group has been great for me as I have been able to share my experiences and read others that are going through similar problems.
My 40th is on the 6th of July and for the past year I have been planning the day around drinking and celebrating. I was talking to a friend last night about how depressing that day will now be as I will be sober. I know I am wrong on this and I don\'t believe this, but he told me it will be a day that you truly celebrate the positive changes you have made in your life. I think this will be true. I hope I feel empowered and celebrate the success of not drinking.
Everyday I feel better. I have an amazing wife, family and an amazing career. How can I let alcohol take over. I do recognise I need help.
I have now made 2 weeks and I feel really good. I am starting to imagine what I can be and who I will be as a non drinker. I like this person. I went out last night and everyone around me was getting drunk. I did notice those that were social drinking but others were just like me getting very drunk. I started to think, see and ask myself; is this what I look like? I am sure I look much worse. I would always drink much more than my colleagues around me but being sober was great. I am really focused t the moment. I got home by 12 am even though the party was still going and I was at the gym by 8 am. I would normally be suffering today but I went to the gym and them went shopping with my kids. It feels great.
I hope that I can maintain this motivation. One big factor is that I want to be sober for my 40th birthday on July 6. This is my first goal and then I will spend the month of July getting fitter. I can\'t wait.
In the last 2 weeks I have not been training and I lost 5 kgs. Some of this would be muscle but mostly water. My face and body is not as bloated as I was when I was drinking 30 beers over a weekend.
I also go back to hospital for my liver and blood tests so I am hoping that between now and then I will have made a really good difference.
I know that after July, it will be difficult. This is when I plan on going to counselling as I will need the support.
Waking up this morning felt awesome.
Last night I made 3 weeks of not drinking and I did it by having a night out saying goodbye to a friend that was heading back to his home country. He knew I was not drinking and never pressured me to drink. He had beers throughout the whole night and this morning he text me to say thanks for a great night out. We went to bar after bar as I ordered my soda waters. Seeing other people drink does not make me want to drink. I make myself to want to drink. At the moment I am focussed on my goal and making each day count.
Yesterday counted because I had a great day with my son, I spent an hour at the gym and had a great night out. This morning I woke up at 7 and went to the gym again for another hour. I could only have done this today because I didn\'t drink last night. I ate and trained really well yesterday because the day before I never drank.
For the first time, I am taking responsibility for my decisions and I can see into the future for who I want to be rather that what I have been in the past. I told myself yesterday, that if I drank I would not be going to the gym today and I would feel like shit.
It feels so good not drinking and to have goals that I know I am working towards gives me purpose. I know there are tough days ahead when I will want to drink and I have to be ready to face that challenge. Not forgetting the past of who I once was should help in making good decisions.