My first journal...
Feeling good this morning. Yesterday I took my father home after a 6 month stay in the hospital. Truly a miracle. I am grateful for my good health and for the peopleni n my life. My problems seem minimal compared to others. But they still fill me will anxiety. Looking forward to cooking supper for my son tonight. Just him and me in my new home. I was feeling rather lonely and anxious the past few days. Overthinking my life. So spending time with him will make me feel needed and loved. The more i reach out to my family when im feeling this way the better I feel. I guess I just need that affirmation that my family is still close by. And they love me.
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CoolMom... I hope you keep journaling. I loved reading this. I have two boys in college and the "baby" leaving on Saturday. The oldest has taken a job after college and he will be a long ways away, probably, in all honestly, forever. His "home" doesn't have the opportunities for the work he wants to pursue, and I'd never try to hold him back from the thing I spent 22 years preparing him for. He's gotten real independent and real busy, and I hear from him a lot less, and I'm trying to give him space, resisting the temptation to text a lot like we used to... when he left for college I backed off the texting a bit, wanting most of the communication to be initiated by him... he stayed in very frequent contact for three years, but his questions about things and his need for Mom has seriously diminished... and I'm trying to figure out what our new relationship looks like. Still, it's sad... and about to get sadder when the nest is officially empty. What you said about "overthinking my life" really stuck with me. I feel like these random flashes of life from the past just present themselves... things I haven't thought about in a long time... sweet moments and not so sweet moments... and I've been dwelling on them, and questioning whether I did this right, or that right. Like you said, overthinking. I've found that the best days are the busiest ones. My plan is to just kind of load up on stuff to do next week, mostly housework I've put off doing and some bigger projects. I hope it helps. But, back to you. I loved your journal entry. Your love for your father, your gratefulness, and just how beautifully you expressed where you are and how you are. Thanks for sharing.