my first journal

 Your born.You grow up imagening and planning just how perfect and just how your life will go.School, Friends, Jobs, Family, Your own place, Pets, Love and so on.At what point does i all go down hill....i dont remember the point in my life where i woke up, looked around and thought..hmmm this just isnt right.You make lists, hoping in some way it will help keep you on track. Kinda like future you can look back and get a nudge from past you. If only it was that easy.You ever picture yourself as a kid, looking up at adult you, with these big eyes  and a frown on their face as if you completely screwed them over. Did this little kid ever really have a shot?I have picture little jackie looking up at me now, at first i see big eyes and a frown but then, this small girl's frown just changes, into this amazing smile. And these words come out of her mouth that you will never forget..LITTLE JACKIE:"Dont be so hard on yourself, life isnt meant to be easy, and love doesnt always last, people will leave you, and you will cry and regret, but at the end of it all hopefully the good will out way the bad and WE will be exactly were we are meant to be"  We all regret things in are past, stupid things we have done, maybe said. I have come to learn and accept that i am no perfect, no one is perfect. We all wish we were, had THAT life, the one were the sun is always shinning and well, you are as pefect of a human being can be.I will quote Seether and say this... "Your no jesus christ" I believe we should all give are selfs a break, not every bad thing that happends to us is are fault, sure some things are, lets not start lying to are selfs now. Only we can control are smiles and are frowns.I am not saying past a smile on your face and walk around, if inside you dont really want to be smiling...What im saying is we should take the time we need but not dwell, not go around playing the blame game. Life has ways of working its self out, in time that is.I am trying to be postive, but i can promise that not all of my journals will be like this. I can promise that i will swear and curse and write inappropite things ( i spelt that wrong i know) But as my first journal for my new account, lets start it off on a good note shell we.We are all amazing people...well maybe not all of use, lets be honest there are bad people out there but for the most the world is a good place, with good people..Lets all remember this...for the most part, the world is a good place with good people.Repeat that.I am tired of looking at the world through sad eyes as if every corner of this huge planet has an evil waiting for me. This isnt true.For the most part..the world is a good place with good people.  :D NOW SMILE!!!!!!!!!