my feeling trapped me right
Yet again, i do not why whatever my dad says or tells is like I have to abide by. Because of him today, I did not go to the gym and now I am feeling so miserable.
He has total control on my life. I thought that after exams, I will be free and do things that I like but he has to be hurtful. Only, one word from him destroys my everything.
I was just preparing zealously to go to the gym since a week now and now just because this morning he passed some silly and hurtful comments, my day which would have otherwise been a cool and fun-filled day is now a sobbing one.
I feel so miserable and pity myself so much. Why a few words need to change me and my decision. Why should he still govern my life? Why, God?
I know now my entire week will go by sad and painfully awful just because of today and surely I will not talk to him. I try my best to be a good person but nobody seems to be any nicer to me.
I have from a year now been working hard to clear all my modules and pass in all my subjects and when I remember how stressful and overloaded it was with mean people. I thought that I would get a breeze and peace after all that. Now, all these hurtful and painful words. I don't understand, if a person cannot be nice, why should he hurt others when others have done no wrong to him. I am a nice person, I know. I never ever give my parents any trouble. It makes no sense why they act like this with me.
Anyway, I have never changed my behaviour before that I will try to become bad to get what I want. If I do not get what I want in life, certainly I'll live miserably as of now but I'll take it as destiny. What option do I have anyway?
I really myself do not know what I am. Seems like a doormat sometimes.
Hopes things get better for me.
dreamyHope (a name which suits too well for me--only in my dreams I am me!)
He has total control on my life. I thought that after exams, I will be free and do things that I like but he has to be hurtful. Only, one word from him destroys my everything.
I was just preparing zealously to go to the gym since a week now and now just because this morning he passed some silly and hurtful comments, my day which would have otherwise been a cool and fun-filled day is now a sobbing one.
I feel so miserable and pity myself so much. Why a few words need to change me and my decision. Why should he still govern my life? Why, God?
I know now my entire week will go by sad and painfully awful just because of today and surely I will not talk to him. I try my best to be a good person but nobody seems to be any nicer to me.
I have from a year now been working hard to clear all my modules and pass in all my subjects and when I remember how stressful and overloaded it was with mean people. I thought that I would get a breeze and peace after all that. Now, all these hurtful and painful words. I don't understand, if a person cannot be nice, why should he hurt others when others have done no wrong to him. I am a nice person, I know. I never ever give my parents any trouble. It makes no sense why they act like this with me.
Anyway, I have never changed my behaviour before that I will try to become bad to get what I want. If I do not get what I want in life, certainly I'll live miserably as of now but I'll take it as destiny. What option do I have anyway?
I really myself do not know what I am. Seems like a doormat sometimes.
Hopes things get better for me.
dreamyHope (a name which suits too well for me--only in my dreams I am me!)
Replies
My folks kind of ruled my life too-and words really affected me, still do. I felt like such a doormat too-somehow I found my voice and spoke up and I think it was there all the time I just had to go get it and what helped was to really really believe in myself more. Believe in you and your abilities and that will help I think
I hear you on your name! I can be me in my dreams
And you CAN be assertive as compared to aggressive.
assertive-believing in yourself and doing what feels right and speaking up.
I think aggressive means going over board, or doing it in an abrasive way, or too destructive to yourself
Good luck!