My eyes are open. Cancer tends to do that.

I'm new to daily strength. So far loving it here. I'm a 34 y/o female who recently battled Cancer for 15 months.  Today I am 2 months Cancer free.
Today I am also overwhelmed.
My eyes are open. Cancer tends to do that. 
I see many things more clearly than before. I see the ways in which I haven't taken care of myself, the ways in which I perhaps haven't lived as authentically as I would have liked.
When death stares you in the face, especially for so long, it's really a wake up call.
I feel anxious. I want things and I want them now.  Clearing up the wreckage of my past is not easy, or fast.
I feel scared. The type of Cancer I had has a very high re-occurrence rate. I try my best to live my life daily, to not get wrapped up in the fear of what, when, if... I am a survivor today, and today I'm living life.
I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel like I want life to come at me, a million miles a minute and I want to just take it all in.  Sometimes I want to crawl in a hole and keep it all out.
For today, I am ok.  That may change tomorrow. Or it may not.