My experience working thru Depression

Today I feel grateful for all that I have. Although my subconscious wants me to have everything now, I realize my bliss exists in the present moment. From the little things to the big things, I have so much to smile on. It's been a while since I've been on this website and since then I am working in therapy to do the things I need to do. Almost every day I feel motivated now. I never felt this way in my whole life.
Yesterday the sad feelings came back so I prayed to God for help. I just sat with that emptyness and let myself rest. Not long after I realized it was just my body and mind needing time to myself. I never gave myself permission to zone out and would punish myself for feeling tired and not having enough energy to keep going. Now I give myself the rest I need. 
As of the last year, I worked at canceling out negative thoughts as they come. They are usually unconscious beliefs and they effect everything I do during the day. I know I have to be proactive, so in place of the negative thoughts I tell myself something positive. Lately I feel more attractive, smarter, more alive and when the negative thoughts come up to say that i am not, I make sure to tell myself that i am and I have proof. Every day I say something good in the morning. That's when depression hits me hard, first thing when I wake up, I feel a deep sense of dread.
I wouldn't have gotten this far had I not quit drinking alcohol and smoking pot. Those two drugs kept my mind locked into living in the past and going over all the resentments and regrets that i had for all the bad things that happened to me and the bad decisions I made. Sometime about midway through where I was then to where i am now, I was deeply challenged by my unconscious guilt for having those expereinces. I had to talk to my therapist and join a support group for AA and that's when I was told that i am not a bad person for drinking or using. I was just self-medicating to feel better. It's no way to live, but I didn't realize that I had depression. Alcohol and drugs exacerbate depression, big time. 
Next to being mindful of what i think, I still have to make a good effort to accomplish daily chores. It's getting easier. When I started doing this, I gave my therapist a list of things I want to accomplish in life. One of those things was to have more confidence in myself. She said that if I do a little bit of work every day, like cleaning something I need to clean, take care of myself in some way, celebrate when I get things done, and pay bills, etc, that these actions will be the thing that helps to build my confidence. I wondered how that could be, at the time. But now I see what it means. I've never been so responsible to myself and never loved myself this much. Now I see why being active helps to build confidence, because I know I can do for myself all the things I never realized I could. I am an empowered, recovering alcoholic and overcoming depression one day at a time. I didn't go on medication but I do drink extra coffee so I consider that medication because it's a stimulant. But it helps. As a kid I had clinical depression and now I think it's more mild because I'm actually working on it. It's a very slow process. Some days I feel like I did no work at all but those are usually the days I need to rest, pray or call someone even though that's the last thing I really want to do. Even if I do just two things a day, that's something. I'm starting to feel that healthy pride that I always wanted. I'm working out the gym, active in recovery, going back to college in the fall and I have healthy friends. My mind is no longer a torture chamber. I have thoughts of life and not death. And when I feel like death, I just rest. That's what works for me.