My Dog Died Yesterday

My dog Nama, a Rhodesian Ridgeback, died yesterday.  I got a voicemail this morning from my ex to tell me he died about 3:00 PM yesterday.  There is a coincidence here, because at that time yesterday I was standing in my office, and suddenly felt totally off balace, and fell against the wall.  It freaked me out enough that I went home for the afternoon, but felt fine after I got there. Nama came into my life in Nov 1995, when my ex and I went to a breeder's home to see a litter of pups.  Little puppy Nama came over to me and promptly crawled under my long skirt and stayed there.  We bonded right then and there LOL. He was a precious dog.  He was intelligent, gentle, and protective, but not aggressive.  I used to love taking him for walks on the pier a few minutes from my home, and people would always stop us, ask what kind of dog he was, tell me he was beautiful, and want to pet him.  Nama enjoyed the attention, and was always very gentle with the little kids who sometimes stood about eye to eye with him. Nama used to try to sit on my lap....which was more like standing over my lap with his tummy resting on my legs LOL...such a big silly baby.  When I got a tiny kitten from the animal shelter, the kitten used to walk through his legs which must have seemed like tree trunks in a redwood forest.  He allowed the kitten to sleep with him and played very gently with her. Nama was very protective of me.  Once when I was lying in bed, and my ex was standing over me and screaming at me, Nama jumped up on the bed, took a stance straddling my body and stared fixedly at my ex (who he also loved).  Nama made it plain he was defending me and would not allow my ex to go any further toward me.  I have never forgotten this. For a while after the separation, the ex and I "shared custody".  As my ex began to exhibit stalker-like behavior, and even "jokingly" threatened me with an exacto knife when I dropped Nama off one day, I grew more reticent about delivering the dog back and forth. When I had to move, I could not then afford a place that would allow me to have a 100 lb dog.  I reluctantly agreed to allow the ex to keep Nama, with the stipulation I could have him back when my situation changed.  My move was about 6 hrs away....and I was not able to get back often for "visits".  I remember crying at a scooby-doo commercial one day...(what an idiot LOL)...but I really loved that dog.  No matter how long between visits, Nama was always overjoyed to see me and did celebration laps around the yard at my arrival!  The ex told me Nama began escaping the house after my visits, breaking down a wooden fence gate, breaking through screens, to be found miles away.  He never did anything like that before....I have always wondered if he was trying to find me..... I have periodically talked with the ex to check on Nama.  He lived to be 13, which is a very long life for a big dog.   I will miss him.  I have had his picture posted in my photos since I got on this site....the Happy Dog. For those of you who are not dog lovers, this all probably seems like sentimental drivel....but I know some of you will understand why I am sitting here crying like a baby at the loss of my great friend, Nama.