My doctor

I went in this morning for my pre op visit with my family doctor.  I haven't had him as my doctor since March.  It was weird talking with him again.  The nurse couldn't draw any blood from me because I was severly dehydrated.  I was sick all last evening.  I think I was so worried about the upcoming surgery and not being able to go into work today.  I found out last night that I am not starting at the school I was at last year.  Then my so called friends didn't even call me and invite me out to lunch with them.  We always do lunch every year.  It just really hurt.  Anyway, the doctor looked at my tongue.  He asked if I have ever had tongue piercings.  I told him no.  I have chewed some pretty deep holes into my tongue from stress he said.  Wow!  I asked him what I could do to stop.  The nurse noticed that I am biting my nails too.  That too is due to stress.  Anyway, what was really weird was the doctor showed me pictures of his three children and his wife after he was done examining me.  He was kind of waiting around for me to say something to him.  I didn't know what to say.  I guess he is going to assist with my surgery.  That makes me feel a little calmer because I have known him for a long time.  We are both the same age.  My doctor told me about some cancer that he had to remove from a guy.  I didn't need to hear about that.  Then he told me that they are going to blow my stomach up with carbon dioxide.  I got nervous about that.  He was trying to make me feel better so that I wouldn't be so nervous.  I think that I will be cleared for surgery.  My husband was being a jerk tonight.  I told him I didn't want him at my surgery.  My mom called and said that she has to work so her and my dad will not be there.  I feel that will be better.  My friend said that she will come to my surgery so I don't have to worry about taking a taxi home.  The very scary thing today was the doctor said,"  Do you feel this in your stomach?"  I said ,"Yeah, it hurts really bad when you press on my stomach on both sides. "  He made a concerned face, didn't say anything and then looked puzzled.  He has me very worried.  I hope that I can get a lot more EMDR from my therapist so that I won't cry so much and be sooo worried about the surgery.  I am also having a difficult time with not going back to work.  I wish I was working.  I really want to teach and start the year.  I had a horrible dream last night.  I dreamt that my grandmother was packing.  I know that they are leaving to go back to Arizona in a few days.  This is getting me really upset.  I also had a dream about baby formula and driving to get baby formula.  I am worried if I have the hysterectomy that all chances of having another baby are gone.  I just hope that it doesn't turn out to be ovarian cancer.