My Dearest Rob
Well, here I am .... online writing to you. It seems as though you are and I were just together... although we both know the day and time.... October 19, 2014 at 3:15pm.
Life has been unbelievably difficult without you! Mom died only 8 months after you left and Pop just died a week before Christmas!!! Rob, it has been so extremely difficult without you!!!
I wanted to finally go and be with you on Christmas Day... I almost succeeded but I got a call from Jeff, who insisted on coming over... I told him I was fine, but he insisted. You never met Jeff... he's very nice and funny... he has a boyfriend... so our friendship is truly a friendship and I think you would approve. :)
Christmas night... I slept and dreamed of you again... thank you for coming into my dreams every night... so many times I don't want to wake up though because I miss you so much.
I'm so sorry that I couldn't save you that awful last day... I screamed and cried... as I know you hear... and I am so sorry about that... I know you can't stand loud noises.. you know that I am usually very good in a crisis, but there you were... laying on the floor lifeless....
Well, let's not go over that again....
Rob... I hope that you really can't see me... you would not be very happy... I have had a terrible time since you are gone, and yes... on many occasions, all I wanted to do was to go home to you. I just can't seem to move forward...
Rob, nobody understands me like you did..we grew up together... even when I am in a room full of people I still feel alone.
My illness is worse than it has ever been Rob...today was a very bad day and I am crying as I am typing this.
You know I have always been strong, and each morning I wake up and try to be strong and live for you... you know that don't you.
Thank you for spending time with me in my dreams.... without you there... I couldn't imagine living.
I moved to Florida and bought a townhouse... you would have loved it... I just couldn't stay in PA anymore...even with all of my family and our friends...without you there.... I felt so alone.
You know that I have always had a strong faith and relationship with our Lord... I know that you are with him... please pray for me... as I still pray for you.
I will always love you My Dearest Rob...
I know this seems crazy, but maybe by journaling in this way... I can start to heal.
I will see you tonight, as always, in my dreams.
Life has been unbelievably difficult without you! Mom died only 8 months after you left and Pop just died a week before Christmas!!! Rob, it has been so extremely difficult without you!!!
I wanted to finally go and be with you on Christmas Day... I almost succeeded but I got a call from Jeff, who insisted on coming over... I told him I was fine, but he insisted. You never met Jeff... he's very nice and funny... he has a boyfriend... so our friendship is truly a friendship and I think you would approve. :)
Christmas night... I slept and dreamed of you again... thank you for coming into my dreams every night... so many times I don't want to wake up though because I miss you so much.
I'm so sorry that I couldn't save you that awful last day... I screamed and cried... as I know you hear... and I am so sorry about that... I know you can't stand loud noises.. you know that I am usually very good in a crisis, but there you were... laying on the floor lifeless....
Well, let's not go over that again....
Rob... I hope that you really can't see me... you would not be very happy... I have had a terrible time since you are gone, and yes... on many occasions, all I wanted to do was to go home to you. I just can't seem to move forward...
Rob, nobody understands me like you did..we grew up together... even when I am in a room full of people I still feel alone.
My illness is worse than it has ever been Rob...today was a very bad day and I am crying as I am typing this.
You know I have always been strong, and each morning I wake up and try to be strong and live for you... you know that don't you.
Thank you for spending time with me in my dreams.... without you there... I couldn't imagine living.
I moved to Florida and bought a townhouse... you would have loved it... I just couldn't stay in PA anymore...even with all of my family and our friends...without you there.... I felt so alone.
You know that I have always had a strong faith and relationship with our Lord... I know that you are with him... please pray for me... as I still pray for you.
I will always love you My Dearest Rob...
I know this seems crazy, but maybe by journaling in this way... I can start to heal.
I will see you tonight, as always, in my dreams.
Replies
Oh Hootie, your journal entry struck a real chord with me. It is so hard without the love of our lives. They would have been the very ones we would turn to for comfort. I also have dreams of my husband and they are precious. We go on because that\'s what they wanted and by doing so we are honoring them.
{{{Hugs}}} ~ Bailey ~