My coping methods.

The first two years after Colleen passed, I spent in my own little cucoon, while my emotions were non-existant. I had no emotions. Then, on Colleen's second angelversary, my granddaughter was in ICU in a diabetic coma. That was when reality caught up with me, and all my emotions burst into action again!! I freaked out, totally over-reacting to everything and everyone at that hospital. So I ended up at the police station for physically assaulting two security officers (a male and a female). Fortunately my older daughter explained my situation to them, and the charges were dropped. (Poor Melany had to deal with her sick daughter in ICU, and hysterical me!).

Now I am a caregiver to sick people at their homes. This new direction in my life is very satisfying, because my life has purpose again, and because I feel that I'm honoring Colleen's memory through what I do! I think about Colleen a hundred times everyday! Sometimes I talk about her, but mostly I just want to keep her to myself, because I hate when insensitive people contaminate her precious memory with hollow, hurtful or rude remarks!!

I still only take one day at a time, because that is all I can handle. Focusing on the here and now, helps me to get through each day. I don't worry about the future anymore, because I just don't care anymore. What must be, shall be.  

Replies

Missinglisa
Missinglisa

I sounds like you are doing well. Of course stresses such as your granddaughter in ICU can send you for a loop. That is normal - maybe not assaulting security people. However, we never know how we are going to react when we are faced with the thought of losing another loved one.
One day at a time is how we survive. We are on this road together.
Hugs, M
NoraMc
NoraMc

sometimes I wish more people would mention Morgan, but I never thought of the time I keep her to myself.... I like that... thanks... kudos to you on what you are doing helping others... love ya!
donnasd
donnasd

Those that you\'re a caregiver to must really appreciate all the ways you help them. Glad you have found a purpose in life again- that helps, doesn\'t it?

Hugs,

Donna
biowoman
biowoman

Loss has a huge effect on all parts of our life. It takes so much time to work through it all...and you are doing it. Love and hugs
saltwatercowgirl
saltwatercowgirl

Experiencing what we have experienced has a way of not looking too far in the future as we have learned we only have today, this second, this minute. We are making the most of every day the best way we know how. It\'s exhausting @ times but we are making it.
Take care of yourself, too.. Caregiving has a way of taking our energy. (((hugs))) jVicki
CFMOM2
CFMOM2

You honor Colleen with your work and just remember to be kind to yourself too. Peace, Kathy
Livingjuicy
Livingjuicy

The here and now is all that we have and I know that I can sink my boat in seconds when I project too far into the future. It is a daily practice for me and for whatever reason nature and children are the two best jump starts that I know of to help me simply to BE.

Grateful that you have found your calling once again in helping others as I know you must be so very adept at it.

Loving care dear friend and may you feel your wonderful Colleen in all that touches you and you touch as well.

Hand in hand, Heart to heart,
XO Joanie