My Coming Out Letter

Dear Mom, 

I love you. You raised me perfectly. Please don't let this letter make you doubt that. It is because of you, that I'm the person I am today. Please keep an open mind about this, and that no matter what happens, I will always be your child. I’m not trying to break your heart, I’m just simply being honest with you. My hand is shaking as I type this, it's really hard for me. In all honesty, I'm terrified about what you will think, and how you will react. I'm still the same person I've always been, your only child, and nothing will ever change that. This is also not a phase, mom. I haven't made this decision based on the past couple days, the past couple weeks, or the past couple months. I've been feeling this way for over two years now. To just spit it out, I’m transgender.

I hate this, mom. The feeling that I don't belong in my own body. It's like my mind is linked elsewhere. This body of mine is just a shell. I have the body of a girl, but the mind of a boy. I know this probably sounds ridiculous, but I can't really word it any other way. I can't help the way I feel, or the way that you will react. I'll never be like before. Skirts, bows, nail polish... I'll never be that girl again. Please don't HOPE this is a phase, because It's not. I am a boy, a male, a man. Emotionally, of course. You have a choice, love me or don't. Keep me or don't. Whatever happens, know that you're the best parent that a child could ask for. I'm sorry I won't grow up to be a beautiful woman, I'm sorry that I'm not the daughter you raised for the past fourteen years. I tried so hard, please believe me. I don't like lying to the people I love, and going on like this is hurting me. I'm not afraid of who I am anymore, and I've come to terms with accepting myself and embracing who I really am. I hope you can find it in yourself to accept me as well. You may argue, "You're too young to experience something like that," then please tell me, why am I? If I'm too young to be the person I really am, then what exactly is my purpose in life? I want to live freely and be complimented on who I am inside rather than this body I'm trapped in. I try so hard to be happy with is, but I can't help but wish for a more masculine look, for a smaller chest. Selfish or not, this is how I feel. I can't be who I really am. I can't express my true self in this body. I don't want there to be crying, anger or frustration when you finish reading this. I love you mom, I really do. I could have never asked for a greater parent. No, this isn't because you didn't dress me 'girly' enough as a kid. No, this is not because you don't do enough 'girly' things with me, so please don't try that now. Nothing can change who I am, or what I've become. I am a human. I am your child. Please help me to understand myself more, mom. For I think you know me better then I know myself. You've been with me through thick and thin, through smooth and sharp. I'm not asking you to understand but I am asking you to help me discover myself, and to support me in whatever path I take in life.

One of the most important things that I've discovered in my life, is that where I was, and where I'm going, is inevitability where I will be found. Please do not tell dad or anyone else. I have my own way of coming out to them. If you want we can have a conversation whenever you're ready. 

I love you with all my heart.

Love,

Your son

(insert my name)