My Christmas

I really want to have a good Christmas.
 
SO Far, each year~ There has been a road block to a good Christmas and It is not lack of money- which there is always lack of money. That road block starts with T and ends with an N. Talon, my fiance. All he ever focuses on is money! money money money.
 
Today was no different. Its Dec. 12 and Christmas is fast approach. I woke up in a happy happy mood ready to go with our son to get our Christmas tree and to send my twin sister a birthday/Christmas present.
 
Well, today was going great- He had a phone interview for a job and orientation for a college he is starting today. When he was done, we left- stop at the UPS store and thats when the trouble started. I got in there and asked him, " what should I get, this bracelet is so little, I don't know what I need. I never sent anything before." he told me to just go ask the lady, so I did. She gave me a box, telling me, so it wouldn't get lost. So I said okay. I didn't know, I never sent anyone anything other then a letter before. So, she was ringing it up and it cost 15.00 dollar and he got really angry at me and stormed away, I asked him if it was okay and he said fine. I didn't know what to do. So I told the lady it was okay. I left the store and outside he said, " You got taken, you didn't need a box, all you needed when a small padded enveloped! if it isn't one thing its another, I just can't win, I hate Christmas, it is always something. Why did you have to go and sent something to your piece of shit sister anyway."
 
I was so angry at myself, that I fucked up again. I can't seem to do anything right. I just wanted to make my sister smile when her husband isn't there for her. I just wanted to hurt myself and take the burden of me and my poor decision away from my family today.
 
So, we got to the Tree lot, he is bitching about spending the 26 dollars on a tree. And How it is a waste of money.
 
So needless to say, today that was suppose to be a fun Christmas memory for me and my son with his Daddy~ turned out horrible. I wish we would of went with Talon's Mother again this year. At least, then its a good memory minus the Daddy.
 
Poor David is such a trooper, he takes things so much better then me, even with Daddy yelling at him to " Shut the fuck up about the tree." he is trying to comfort mommy with saying, " Don't cry mommy, it's okay, we got a tree."
 
In the end, we got a good tree. and I made sure to spend the rest of the evening up stair with my son away from this father, making Christmas cookies with him. They are some of the best looking cookies ever! We watched Bad-er Santa too, which I realized half way through wasn't the best movie for a 4 year old. Good time, he was too busy decorating cookies to actually watch it.
 
I don't care about present for Christmas, I don't care if I don't get shit for my birthday that is the 20th, all that matter is there is something under the tree for my son, which I already got. I don't care about Money, Why does he have to care about money. We have a roof over our heads, food in the frig, heat, warm water, internet, etc. even cell phones and he evens has xbox live. more then most ppl have. so why is he so stressed over money? Can't he just me happy with me and his son for Christmas?