my child hood

                                                     where were you when i needed you.I needed you but you were not there for me what heart the most was you took his side over me i gusse i was stuped to beleave you when you say you love me but do you even know the painfull story where he put this thing in side me and left a scare in side me and all of the pain im in you were supposto pertect me.He heart me so bad to where i dont trust cops not only did he heart me but you and alot of people i cant get over the amount of people who raped me and molested me after all i have been through i just cant be so loveing i feel so fat and ugly to the point where im letting people just walk all over me why i ask my self but it dont go any where late one day he got me drunk then molested me but when he whent down on me it felt good why i still dont know why dose this mean its my falt they used too take turns with me i wounder if i was just put on this earth for poeple to use me and abuse me i know he pled gulty but my brother dont beleave me witch hearts me realy bad cause we use to be close and know we are so far away my mom let the others got away with what they did and i ask what did i ever do to poeple to let them do this to me i cant even have sex with any one cause it brings up alot of shit and the guys i use to date would wounder why i dont smile and look at them when we have sex and i could not tell them it was to pain full to tell them ever thing that i whent through as a child with every body jummping on my case is just not good its too the point that i dont care about my life