My Chains Are Gone
Last night while still searching for the answer to the questions that have plagued me for more than 40 years the Lord directed me to a particular website called healingthroughselflove.blogspot.com/ and there in this blog I found my life story being told by other women.
Why my ex married me. Why he has always hated me and why he never loved me. Why he never protected me while his mother tormented me. Why he and his sister have continued to pop up in my life even after I divorced him, tearing off the scabs that were just starting to heal once more. He took everything from me that he could con, steal or cheat me out of but the one thing he wanted more than anything else was to drive a wedge between me and my Lord! Try as they might they were never able to grasp hold and destroy my faith and because I had received Jesus into my life the precious memories I have of my children when they were young and still loved me. These memories and my faith are safe in the Master's hand. Now I know it was them not me and now I know why I loved and tried to protect that little boy under the Masogynist's cloak from his mother who did everything in her power to destroy him and she won because he has become her BUT it is not his fault that things ended this way, if I had been a more mature Christian and he had accepted the fact he had a problem then we could have found coping skills to help us and our family stay as 1 unit but he chose instead to destroy our family through Parental Alientation. I thought I had got out in time to save my youngest daughter but even though I was out the rage of all those years of the invisable abuse still plagued me. When he lied to me about where my daughter's Memorial Service was my best friend advised me to check it out and I did and it was in Welland just like he said but the Funeral Home he told me she was at was in Niagra Falls. It was just another little game to hurt and upset me but my daughter died thinking he walked on water and I was the evil, manipulating and greedy and probably unfaithful wife but she forgave me anyways and that gave me the courage to forgive him. Behind the charming and debonair mask is a man with a heart as cold and as hard as stone BUT it is not all his fault. His mother abandoned him when he was three months old and never came back for him until his aunt and uncle wanted to offically adopt him THIS is the traumatic episode that derailed his life. She took him from a home where he was accepted as family and loved and brought him down to Hamilton to wash her new baby's diapers. I have always known she hated him, when she talked about him her words dripped with animosity. Her hatred of him was one of the things that kept dragging me back to him, she never loved him, he had destroyed any love I had for him but my children still loved him and I could not take that away from him. Our childhoods were as different as night and day. I was loved and cherished, he was despised and unwanted but needed to do a job she did not want to do. He will be a slave to his dead mother's evil will till the day he dies but He doesn't have to be when Jesus died He death covered every horrible sin the devil could ever imagine to inflict on humanity. When he told me he was having heart problems again I got sucked in but when I talked to my friend Gary he helped me realized that all the problems he said he was having would not all occur in the same six months but I was happy and that bothered him so he wanted to burst my balloon but I have the joy of the Lord in my heart and that he can not destroy because finally after almost 45 years my chains are gone and I am free!
My Chains Are Gone
Amazing graceHow sweet the soundThat saved a wretch like meI once was lost, but now I'm foundWas blind, but now I see'Twas grace that taught my heart to fearAnd grace my fears relievedHow precious did that grace appearThe hour I first believedMy chains are goneI've been set freeMy God, my Savior has ransomed meAnd like a flood His mercy reignsUnending love, amazing graceThe Lord has promised good to meHis word my hope securesHe will my shield and portion beAs long as life endures[2x]My chains are goneI've been set freeMy God, my Savior has ransomed meAnd like a flood His mercy reignsUnending love, amazing graceThe earth shall soon dissolve like snowThe sun forbear to shineBut God, Who called me here below,Will be forever mine.Will be forever mine.You are forever mine.
Why my ex married me. Why he has always hated me and why he never loved me. Why he never protected me while his mother tormented me. Why he and his sister have continued to pop up in my life even after I divorced him, tearing off the scabs that were just starting to heal once more. He took everything from me that he could con, steal or cheat me out of but the one thing he wanted more than anything else was to drive a wedge between me and my Lord! Try as they might they were never able to grasp hold and destroy my faith and because I had received Jesus into my life the precious memories I have of my children when they were young and still loved me. These memories and my faith are safe in the Master's hand. Now I know it was them not me and now I know why I loved and tried to protect that little boy under the Masogynist's cloak from his mother who did everything in her power to destroy him and she won because he has become her BUT it is not his fault that things ended this way, if I had been a more mature Christian and he had accepted the fact he had a problem then we could have found coping skills to help us and our family stay as 1 unit but he chose instead to destroy our family through Parental Alientation. I thought I had got out in time to save my youngest daughter but even though I was out the rage of all those years of the invisable abuse still plagued me. When he lied to me about where my daughter's Memorial Service was my best friend advised me to check it out and I did and it was in Welland just like he said but the Funeral Home he told me she was at was in Niagra Falls. It was just another little game to hurt and upset me but my daughter died thinking he walked on water and I was the evil, manipulating and greedy and probably unfaithful wife but she forgave me anyways and that gave me the courage to forgive him. Behind the charming and debonair mask is a man with a heart as cold and as hard as stone BUT it is not all his fault. His mother abandoned him when he was three months old and never came back for him until his aunt and uncle wanted to offically adopt him THIS is the traumatic episode that derailed his life. She took him from a home where he was accepted as family and loved and brought him down to Hamilton to wash her new baby's diapers. I have always known she hated him, when she talked about him her words dripped with animosity. Her hatred of him was one of the things that kept dragging me back to him, she never loved him, he had destroyed any love I had for him but my children still loved him and I could not take that away from him. Our childhoods were as different as night and day. I was loved and cherished, he was despised and unwanted but needed to do a job she did not want to do. He will be a slave to his dead mother's evil will till the day he dies but He doesn't have to be when Jesus died He death covered every horrible sin the devil could ever imagine to inflict on humanity. When he told me he was having heart problems again I got sucked in but when I talked to my friend Gary he helped me realized that all the problems he said he was having would not all occur in the same six months but I was happy and that bothered him so he wanted to burst my balloon but I have the joy of the Lord in my heart and that he can not destroy because finally after almost 45 years my chains are gone and I am free!
My Chains Are Gone
Amazing graceHow sweet the soundThat saved a wretch like meI once was lost, but now I'm foundWas blind, but now I see'Twas grace that taught my heart to fearAnd grace my fears relievedHow precious did that grace appearThe hour I first believedMy chains are goneI've been set freeMy God, my Savior has ransomed meAnd like a flood His mercy reignsUnending love, amazing graceThe Lord has promised good to meHis word my hope securesHe will my shield and portion beAs long as life endures[2x]My chains are goneI've been set freeMy God, my Savior has ransomed meAnd like a flood His mercy reignsUnending love, amazing graceThe earth shall soon dissolve like snowThe sun forbear to shineBut God, Who called me here below,Will be forever mine.Will be forever mine.You are forever mine.
Replies
What a sad story. So sorry you had to go through this. But it did make you a stronger woman for it. May God always be first in your like and you will always be a conqueror in life. God bless you and thank you for sharing. Lots of locve n hugs, Frieda