my birth day...

So I met my birth mom, half sister, and two uncles on my trip to California last weekend. Insane............ up until November, I knew only my birth fathers last name and my birth mothers name after searching and searching when I was 18. I feel so loved and blessed today. Thinking about actually moving from TX to CA in about 9 months when my lease is up. I feel very grounded right now, and don't want to make any impulsive decisions or moves, but it just felt like home. Everyone looks like me lol, and is supportive of me moving out there... all thats left in TX for me is bad memories and my sisters family, which can make me so happy  depressed at the same time bc I am now the age my sister was when she met and married her husband... I just feel like I need to live somewhere else for awhile. Get out of this city. Im sure I could find somewhere to stay and a job pretty quickly with all these new found connections... anyway...
 
meeting my birth mother was such an amazing experience. I feel like any word to describe our meeting is an understatement or just not right. But yes, I was VERY nervous when I woke up that morning, my 25th birthday, went shopping and relaxed with my half sister all day in Ocean Beach, then came back to the house to cook dinner and prepare for her arrival LOL, it was awkward. She is a vegetarian and I was afraid my salad would just not be right!! My birth dad went to go meet up with her at a little coffee shop before she came back to meet me... they hadn't seen eachother in over twenty years... he kept saying he wasn't nervous, but I think he was. They were each others first true loves I think. Very sweet story, but very, very sad at the same time. My birth mothers parents were very embarrassed of the pregnancy... they did everything they could to make sure no one in their social circles would find out about it, like having me delivered at an inner city, dangerous hospital in LA!!! My birth father doesn't remember signing any papers and thought they were keeping me even when I was being born, and didn't realize what was going on until I was gone. She also mentioned wanting to get me back in the week after I was born, but her parents forbid her to. I know everything happens for a reason but there were somethings I couldn't believe, like her sending letters and pictures to me for years, with no response so she gave up. I never knew of these letters or pictures. Most of you here know I do not get along with my adoptive parents, as they are unhealthy, unstable people now... it took a lot for me to not let this further my anger for them.. as I have finally gotten to a good place with my feelings towards them. All in all the trip was very healing for everyone involved... going through some tough emotions, but they have been there, in the background, for a very very long time. So I am happy I am dealing with them now, so I can fully live my life. I no longer have this chip on my shoulder of not knowing anything. I felt like no one could understand, now it doesnt matter if anyone understands!! I feel whole, and happy, and alive. 
 
She made me a beautiful bracelet made of tourmaline, supposed to have healing properties, very thoughtful. And this crystal butterfly... looks like a paperweight... that I adore. I truly feel like I just came out of my cocoon!! I know~ so corny lol.
 
I am in a good place, my Friends.