My biggest mistake

So, here’s a thing I haven’t told my friends or family that haunts me every day. My wife died September 28, 2017, at about 8:15pm. For the last three or four hours, she was making a sound. With every exhalation, it sounded like bagpipes deflating. Her breathing had been laboured for a while, so I turned up her oxygen. Her head was listing to the right. I tried to correct it - we had been watching Netflix “The Good Place.” I gently turned her back toward the screen. When I let go, her head turned back to the right.

a few hours later, she turned blue and died.

it didn’t occur to me until a few days later that she knew what was happening. She was crying and trying to look at the sky through the window to her right. She had been crying and dying for three hours before I knew what was happening. Sitting there, watching television “with her”, oblivious.