"My Big Fat Mess of a Plot to Coax My Ex Out of Hiding"- shouldn't that be a movie title??
P.S. Some clarifications to my ramblings:
1. I kind of didn't make A's intentions toward Sarah clear in my video- she was using her as a distraction. She outright told Sarah she didn't want a relationship. Neither of them want one with each other.
2. The entire night Sarah and I called her bf an "egghead" because that's the way his head is shaped. We literally must be four years old and total bitches because I don't think either of us have laughed that hard in forever. My fave quote from the night is "I WOULD NEVER DATE AN EGGHEAD, MY STANDARDS ARE SO MUCH HIGHER THAN THAT!"
3. A is indeed still with the Egghead. It's very removed and distant, though. She's only in it because he's away at college and she doesn't have to see him everyday. She gets to pretend, which is what my darling loves to do when things are remotely difficult.
Okay, now that that's settled, enjoy this 3 A.M. ramble for your entertainment on my warped love life, desire to get blitzed, and my promise to stay sober (of my ED and self injury, that is!)
1. I kind of didn't make A's intentions toward Sarah clear in my video- she was using her as a distraction. She outright told Sarah she didn't want a relationship. Neither of them want one with each other.
2. The entire night Sarah and I called her bf an "egghead" because that's the way his head is shaped. We literally must be four years old and total bitches because I don't think either of us have laughed that hard in forever. My fave quote from the night is "I WOULD NEVER DATE AN EGGHEAD, MY STANDARDS ARE SO MUCH HIGHER THAN THAT!"
3. A is indeed still with the Egghead. It's very removed and distant, though. She's only in it because he's away at college and she doesn't have to see him everyday. She gets to pretend, which is what my darling loves to do when things are remotely difficult.
Okay, now that that's settled, enjoy this 3 A.M. ramble for your entertainment on my warped love life, desire to get blitzed, and my promise to stay sober (of my ED and self injury, that is!)
Replies
megan, what\'s meant to be will be. just take it one day at a time. ((HUGS))
well to be honest i lost you somewhere in there, but what it SOUNDS like is that you\'re trying to have more social interactions with A, and from a (totally clueless)(way too young to have any idea what to do)outsider, that sounds like it might not be so good for you. just hope you won\'t get yourself hurt again, and sounds like you\'re aware of that so i\'ll shut up and have fun at your party :)
Ha!!!! Through the whole video, I was admiring how pretty your hair looks!!!!
I\'m glad you\'re resolved to be \'you\'!!!! If you keep doing that, I don\'t think you can be steered wrong!!!
Never let yourself settle for being someone\'s secret, if doing so negatively affects your self-worth. I\'m sorry if she isn\'t ready to come out yet. But maybe you need someone who has come to grips with who they are.
Yes, maybe telling her that you had someone else wasn\'t the best way to have handled things. Stick with the truth. I think it makes getting what you want much more likely to happen.
SO glad you haven\'t cut and that your purging is mostly under control!!!! I hope that continues!!!!
Be brave and don\'t worry about your travel!!! I had never flown by myself before and made it all the way to England. I, too, was sure that I\'d end up somewhere else, LOLOL!!!! But I figured that no matter what happened, I would eventually find my way to where I was supposed to go!!!
I hope you have a wonderful weekend!!!!!
By the way, I feel sorry for poor Egghead, LOLOL!!!!! (((((Hugs)))))
Lovely, yes it\'s going to suck! but youre going to get through it and like you said \" Im going to be happy.\" PLease dont push yourself to hard with this because your heart deserves a little break everyonce in a while. And You need to prepare your self the the worst and hope for the best. it\'s all you can do a this point!!!! love you twin. and im sorry i havent been aorund much lately, but know Im realy rallyproud of you. And keep you head up because if its meant to me it\'s meant to be. It doesnt hurt to try. Your so much more than the pain she\'s ever caused you. Im glad you posted this. And remeber people come into your path to change you, and either way there will be a light and it will all be okay!