My back story.....

I have had a few friends ask me about why I was here so here is my back story. It is strange to read it because I still feel the same as I did then. Still struggling with it.

Keep in mind I have a wonderful wife and a what I feel is a great marriage.
I have always been an honest faithful man. I have never cheated on anyone. I have always been a flirt but I knew where to stop. A little over two years ago I was on a business trip with 4 other coworkers. We were at a restaurant and had a very attractive server. We talked to her and had a great time, nothing out of the ordinary. A few of my coworkers were single so they wanted to ask her to join us a bar later for drinks. We paid and got ready to leave and nobody had the guts to ask her, so I did. I just said a few of my friends would like to buy you a drink if you would join us at this bar. She responded with a maybe and we left. We moved onto the next bar and I had forgotten about her at this point. I actually saw her approaching our table and didn't notice her and kept looking around. I see my friends faces light up and I turn to see her pulling up a chair next to me. Again no big deal. Nothing I haven't handled before. But after a short time talking to her I was getting draw in. We both were. I was very clear and told her I was married. We walked her to her car and wanted to make sure she was OK to drive. She insisted she was and said she would text us when she got home. One of my friends offered up my number to her and off she went. I got the text she arrived home safe and said goodnight. No biggie right.....
The next day we texted a few times, nothing crazy. I was leaving for home after a few days so she wanted to get a drink together before I left. I thought, OK I can stop this right there, be less than impressive....... I arrive wearing a tshirt and she walks in with a very nice, classy long skirt on. I was impressed but not shaken. I still knew I was there to smother any spark there is. Well after about 10 minutes of talking we looked at each other and got locked in. You know that deep, silent look into each others eyes. She was as surprised as I was and we were speechless for a moment. Whatever just happened and I knew I was in trouble!!
We said our goodbyes and I avoided a kiss at all costs. Still when my flight left the ground I was genuinely sad. As if I was leaving something important there. It has been over two years and we have only seen each other twice. Once narrowly avoiding a PA disaster. Despite that we text often and when we don't we know we are thinking about each other. I avoid contact to lesson the triggers that remind me of her. Even so I am here pining over her. So now here I am finding myself flirting as if to fill the void she has left. Missing her and wanting to see her. We chat occasionally but we both kind of avoid it because the separation is hard. We do well to keep out of each other's lives only to make contact to disclose how much we think about each other.

*sigh*