MY BACK PAGES
HI JOURNAL,
LOOKING BACK AT MY BACK PAGES.
AS PRINTED IN MY LOCAL SUPPORT GROUP'S NEWLETTER,
JULY 2010.
HERE COMES THE HARDEST PART.
by STEWART B W.
After DBS surgery last October I was asked by 'she who must be obeyed', my Parkinson's Nurse Specialist, to givea talk at a Saturday morning seminar, discribing my experience of the procedure.
Being of a shy quiet disposition, public speaking is definately not my forte, in as much as I would rather face twenty hostile Zulus, than perform infront of an audience.Well wether I peformed or not, I did appear at the said seminar.
When first asked to do the talk, I went panic stricken with fear, to a good friend of mine who, just happened to be a member of Toastmasters, a public speaking group, begging him to give me a crash course in public speaking.
No worries said he, nothing's a bother, just come along to Toastmasters meetings and see what you think. I did just that and later I joined up as a member.
So after attending a few meetings, and picking up a few tips, input and advice, from those more experienced, it came to pass,that I was reqiured to give my first official speech at Toastmasters.
The topic I choose, was a subject I know most about, namely myself. Myself being, where I am at right now.
So behold, dressed appropiately, and not too well rehearsed, I presented myself accordingly, and purposely proceded, passionately performing a speech describing how I live with, deal and manage Parkinson's Condition.
Nervous as hell, I started by saying that I am travelling with Parkinson's Condition, that the term 'disease' did not sit well with me and indeed I did not have a disease of any kind.
Further to that I made it clear that the statement 'suffering with Parkinson's Disease' is flawed, pointing out that I will not be described in such a negative manner. I finished the opening salvo of my speech with - 'suffice to say, I am travelling with Parkinson's Condition'.
So, now that I had the attention of a well meaning critical audience, as well as the appointed evalulator, I went on to describe how I manage and deal with Parkinson's Condition.
With a clear emphasis on attitude and a positive one at that, I erred by taking up all and more, than the alotted time allowed for my speech. Who cared anyway, by now I was in full nervous flow.
It was my 'war cry' that took me over the time, I witnessed the amazed looks as I said,'I've left my war cry against Parkinson's till last'.
Later in the evening the evaluator went to the lecturn, stunning me to the point of embarassment with her positive analysis. Quoting the Dali Lama she said you knew the rules and you broke them all, mentioning that it was a 'no no' to put my hands in my pocket yet ackowledging I did this to hide or stop any tremors, giving me a pat on the back for it. After that I received more feedback of a positve nature from fellow members. The best was yet to come, the toastmaster for the evening asked for a copy of my speech, what a complement.
In conclusion I have to say this whole thing is a massive challenge for me, I'm on a steep learning curve. I have had good win with this new venture and I feel an even bigger win against Parkinson's Condition, a slap in the face to this imposter. I love it when this happens.
Before giving this speech I had jokingly said,
'I will deliver a speech, to rival Lincoln's Getysburg address',
well all I can say is that it went better than I ever dared to dream.
So in linking the begining to the end in true toastmasters style,
HERE COMES THE HARDEST PART,
which is - matching and bettering this effort.
=================================
LOOKING BACK AT MY BACK PAGES.
AS PRINTED IN MY LOCAL SUPPORT GROUP'S NEWLETTER,
JULY 2010.
HERE COMES THE HARDEST PART.
by STEWART B W.
After DBS surgery last October I was asked by 'she who must be obeyed', my Parkinson's Nurse Specialist, to givea talk at a Saturday morning seminar, discribing my experience of the procedure.
Being of a shy quiet disposition, public speaking is definately not my forte, in as much as I would rather face twenty hostile Zulus, than perform infront of an audience.Well wether I peformed or not, I did appear at the said seminar.
When first asked to do the talk, I went panic stricken with fear, to a good friend of mine who, just happened to be a member of Toastmasters, a public speaking group, begging him to give me a crash course in public speaking.
No worries said he, nothing's a bother, just come along to Toastmasters meetings and see what you think. I did just that and later I joined up as a member.
So after attending a few meetings, and picking up a few tips, input and advice, from those more experienced, it came to pass,that I was reqiured to give my first official speech at Toastmasters.
The topic I choose, was a subject I know most about, namely myself. Myself being, where I am at right now.
So behold, dressed appropiately, and not too well rehearsed, I presented myself accordingly, and purposely proceded, passionately performing a speech describing how I live with, deal and manage Parkinson's Condition.
Nervous as hell, I started by saying that I am travelling with Parkinson's Condition, that the term 'disease' did not sit well with me and indeed I did not have a disease of any kind.
Further to that I made it clear that the statement 'suffering with Parkinson's Disease' is flawed, pointing out that I will not be described in such a negative manner. I finished the opening salvo of my speech with - 'suffice to say, I am travelling with Parkinson's Condition'.
So, now that I had the attention of a well meaning critical audience, as well as the appointed evalulator, I went on to describe how I manage and deal with Parkinson's Condition.
With a clear emphasis on attitude and a positive one at that, I erred by taking up all and more, than the alotted time allowed for my speech. Who cared anyway, by now I was in full nervous flow.
It was my 'war cry' that took me over the time, I witnessed the amazed looks as I said,'I've left my war cry against Parkinson's till last'.
Later in the evening the evaluator went to the lecturn, stunning me to the point of embarassment with her positive analysis. Quoting the Dali Lama she said you knew the rules and you broke them all, mentioning that it was a 'no no' to put my hands in my pocket yet ackowledging I did this to hide or stop any tremors, giving me a pat on the back for it. After that I received more feedback of a positve nature from fellow members. The best was yet to come, the toastmaster for the evening asked for a copy of my speech, what a complement.
In conclusion I have to say this whole thing is a massive challenge for me, I'm on a steep learning curve. I have had good win with this new venture and I feel an even bigger win against Parkinson's Condition, a slap in the face to this imposter. I love it when this happens.
Before giving this speech I had jokingly said,
'I will deliver a speech, to rival Lincoln's Getysburg address',
well all I can say is that it went better than I ever dared to dream.
So in linking the begining to the end in true toastmasters style,
HERE COMES THE HARDEST PART,
which is - matching and bettering this effort.
=================================
Replies
Steuart, EXCELLENT. Just came back from wrestling with the natives. Zulus? No I usually win. Your reference reminded me of this old joke. I am not shy but I loathe giving prepared speeches. Your story is inspireing. Good health your friend Alex
WOW - I have enjoyed reading this journal post and it has left me feeling better for the day. I have CFIDS disability and after the death of my husband I feel kicked down and beaten up with the challenges I have survived. Reading your journal has allowed me to feel better and see some of what I am facing in a new light. I very much needed that at this place in my life. There is a healing energy from your post that is seeping into my attitude about the challenges Im facing. I love our support here on DS where everyone shares their perspectives and experiences and this results in having the lights turned on for many of us as we work at growing, sharing and healing. DS has now literally saved my life a few times when I was beyond exhausted and overwhelmed from coping with too much alone.
For the longest time my journal entries were all about our need to push out all the negatives in our lives with positives in our thinking but I never would focus on any of the negatives I am working at resolving on a day to day basis. One day those negative challenges were so overwhelming that I began to realize I needed to come clean and begin sharing these experiences as I worked my way through them. Since that time I have been taking out the garbage on almost a daily basis and even though I have found relief from doing this it has brought negative feelings to my DS friends that read my journal entries that feel I need to leave these dark challenges alone and focus on happy, glad and joy. They dont understand that I am simply clearing out the garbage so I dont have that in my life affecting me any longer but I need to balance the entries with more positive energy so my DS friends dont face so much of the raw challenges I am working through and will have some balance with lighter entries to read.
I did not have this awareness until just now when I was reading your approach to what you are coping with. I now have a better mindfulness on the issue of presentation and perhaps balance. I think it would be good to share this as my next journal entry to declare my intent to change for the better.
:-) Patricia