MY AUNTIES THROWIN THE REST OF HER LIFE AWAY

todayy at school there was a lil incident with my self confidence.i have to do p.e and i got really upset about it because i couldnt do it and i thought everyone was juding me and staring at me.my p.e teacher said that she will help me with my self confidence and over the weekend i have to write a list of things that i want to change or improve about myself, and she will help me get there.but then tonight just when i thought things were perhaps getting better they get worseeveryone knows by now that my auntie is an alcoholic and she was rushed into hospital and told if she didnt stop drinking and soon she would die.then it hit the anniversary of my nannas death two weeks ago and my auntie debbie couldnt handle it so started drinking again, she is throwing the rest of her life away but more than anything shes hurting my mum.my mum is seriously ill as it is without people putting her under more stress but then tonight i get a phone call and its the hostel where she is staying and then her key worker kara said " lacey your auntie debbies out of her face again she wants to come to your house and talk to you shes crying and saying she wants to kill herself" it turns out shes been drinking again just over two weeks.why is she doing it to herself but more importantly why is she doing it to our family, our family has been torn apart enough already.i love her to bits but i can't do this, she knew that if she started drinking again she would die.so many people have tried to help her me being the main one, im 14 i shouldnt have to look after my auntie cuz shes drunk again i shouldnt have to make my cousin talk to his own mum.everyone in my family has given up trying to help her except me because i know how it feels to feel like you have no one to talk to and be there for you in the world.i have done everything i can for that woman and although theres times when i want to give up on her and just leave her, i don't because she needs help.shes drinking herself into her grave, and theres nothing anyone can do to stop it.she thinks shes going to find the answer to all her problems at the bottom of a bottle but shes wrong, she will just find more problems.i  starting to wonder if i should give up trying to help her because it seems to be going in one ear and out of the other