My Aching Heart
Since Richard, my life partner, passed seven months ago, my heart still aches to have him back in my life. I still love him just as much today as I did before he passed. I know he witnesses my daily events, and is very proud of how far I have come in the short time that he has been gone. Christmas was not the trauma I expected. It was nice to be with family, and have two days of quality time with my only sister. New Years will be spent overnight with dear friends of ours. I am still making changes in our home, hurdling all the "firsts", loving my adopted cat Moochie, my friends, and my blood family, work family, and church family. This is a time to reflect on what I am now blessed for, even though I would give it all up to have my former life and my dear husband back. I have a beautiful roof over my head, no mortgage, employed, medical insurance, food on the table, family and friends that care about me, and my dear pet. I was also blessed with 38 years to spend with a wonderful man that is irreplaceable. God broke the mold when he made my husband. I don't know how my life would have turned out if I had never met him, fell in love with him, nor married him. He has left me with invaluable lessons and a lifetime of warm memories. I know I will again become independent, self-sufficient, and confident as the days go on. My faith in God has also helped a great deal. Daily prayer and meditation gives me the strength I need to enjoy the day.
Replies
I am so moved by everthing that you have said. I wish I could feel like you do right now. I am encouraged though that I may be grateful for the things that I have and the time that I shared with my husband but I still have a ways to go yet. I think next year when my son and his family are back home and out of the service, it will be much better. I should learn to meditate = never did before so if you have any helpful hints for a beginner, send them my way. Your are doing great. Maria
I really admire your courage and your positive attitude to life. I too rely on all the time I shared with my husband and the things I learnt from him and hope I\'ll become independant and happy again in the future. I pray that 2010 will be a good year for all of us. Hugs from Sil
Sometimes it is harder than it sounds, but I would prefer to go forward than backward. However, grief has a mind of its own. It can hit you like a 2 x 4 when you least expect it to. Hugs and kisses to you both - Debbie
Way to go Debbie - I love the way you think. You will be fine with that great attitude.I always say God may have taken my husband but no one can take away all the wonderful memories, photos and love... that is forever. Take care, Gail xx